Everlasting Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They say that anything worth having is worth sweating for
Maybe even worth dying for
Attacking more character defects than a cartoonist’s eraser
Just so that what was causing grief can finally become deceased
Dedicating endless hours to undoing the power that had caused the planes that crashed into the twin towers; the mind and the heart
Reminded by art that perfection can be captured in a moment
Holding on to every moment like integers and exponents
An ex won’t win, when it comes to forever capturing my feelings
Not even sexual healings can suffice when it comes to the payment of the ultimate price
To the point where rattling the dice no longer gives that sensational rush
Lust can’t even be it’s usually abrupt manner
Enough manners to pass the mother-father test
Yes, upon this quest, one must apologetically confess;
For that Everlasting Love, anything is possible

Any Questions?

When did the turn occur? You know, “the turn”? That moment, when what was all good, became all fucked up. Who allowed this to happen? Why was it allowed to happen?

Place those questions inside of any perspective and dig for the answers. Dig until the depths of your mind is filled with so much emptiness that the silent whispers from your heart can be heard lightyears away. Dig until your reach the spiritual version of the other side of the world, from wherever you stand. Dig until nothing makes sense and everything seems simple. Just dig. Can you dig it?

Reverting back to the set of original questions, what thoughts came to mind when you began to soak those words into your head? What pictures began to formulate inside of your head, like a 3D movie at an imax theatre? Why did those questions and pictures appear?

It’s not everyday that we are challenged to face ourselves.. or so it may seem. Most of the time — depending on one’s schedule and rate of interacting with television, radio, internet, and people in general — people are fighting against themselves. We fight against our natural instincts, impulses, emotions, opinions, desires, beliefs, and wants. Also, we fight against everyone else’s. How heavy a burden for the mind to carry useless weight accumulated from trivial pursuits?

Life throws so many curve balls at us. If you think about it though, what would life be without the unknown? If we were to eliminate all of the mistakes, acts of violence, and other negative happenings, would we even exist? One mistake led to another and another led to you. However, playing Devil’s Advocate doesn’t justify any of the current wrongs nor does it answer any of the questions.

Leading me back to my original set of questions; essentially, why? Was it for our own good? Our own bad? So many different ideologies, philosophies, assumptions, opinions, and the likes have made futile attempts to produce sufficient answers that would satisfy every pondering mind. Is this by design?

In our travels, we step upon unique paths. No matter how close you are to anyone, nobody has ever experienced life quite the way that you have. Each of us have some type of reason for being here. It is within each of us to bring out. That reason is beneath the layers of superficiality, deception, and confusion that haunts our every braincell. Just as that reason is buried in dreams deferred, it is alive inside of the dreams realized.

We can question our existence, our lives, the pain we endure, and everything else until we are blue in the face. Or, we can decide to answer those questions. We can take this opportunity to become those answers and be the flicker of light which sparks the thirst to answer. it is our duty to live the lives that we have been given. Sure, we all make mistakes. We all, also, have tasted failures sour flavor, but we all are capable of overcoming great obstacles.

So instead of just being stuck in a daze and asking infinite questions, start answering them. Accept nobody’s answers. Prove your answers. You are the answer. Any questions?

Fucking Up Royally – A Love Story –

What is it about a woman? From their outer beauty to the characteristics that make them who they are, women always have a way of catching the attention of anyone with eyes. The type of attitude that they possess and the style that choose to express creates many thoughts inside of a man’s mind.

Enough of the obvious..

I’ve always had a problem with women. Since I was young, I always was attracted to older women. However, it was the younger ones who always ended up capturing my heart. I like to compare women to art; they’re masterpieces. Thus, this is where the problem comes in for me. My ex once told me that I was dramatic and I love attention. She told me that I need someone who can always hold my attention, because I am quick to go after something new. I couldn’t disagree with her, because it is true. There’s nothing like a woman who looks good, smells good, and is good at what she does. If you know what I mean.

I had a masterpiece, but I was too busy checking out all the other exhibits in the gallery. Now hindsight is a muhfucka. Hindsight can show you exactly who you were, how you were, and what you were. Unless one is seriously delusional or just in denial, one cannot deny the fact of what their own pasts provides. When I say this, I mean that a person’s past is filled with all of their own thoughts, words, and actions. When I look at my pasts, I see self-inflicted pain. I was a happy child and I smile and laughed a lot, but I had plenty of dark moments. Inside of those dark moments is where I found a lot of my strength. However, those same dark moments are the ones that produced ways that aren’t always the brightest of ideas.

Growing up, I loved chicks. I just didn’t trust them. Being from Detroit, you are apart of a specific type of culture. Fashion plays a big role in that culture and not having the means to participate in shopping sprees made it hard for the girls to want you. Sure, clothes aren’t everything, but try telling that to someone who believes otherwise. Once I got to high school, I was able to afford to get the desirable fashions. However, I was still holding on to the pain of rejection.

Everyone has some type of insecurity. Not everyone deals with the root of those issues. Being in a relationship, while not handling insecurity issues, can create so much unnecessary stress. I think I put my ex through more stress than I have put anyone else through. That’s not something you do with someone you love. I mean, stress kills! My love for women and my need to prove that I could get that woman’s attention was always a problem. I’m a natural flirt. I love to hold conversations and I love to make people laugh. Whenever you flirt, there is always something else occuring underneath the flattering words and the interaction. At times, the flirting would escalate to so much more. At the end of the day though, I knew who I loved. At least I thought I did.

The pain of losing a woman that you truly adore can be one of the most unbearable feelings to have to experience. It’s like wishing that the Sun would rise, but knowing that tomorrow will never come. No matter how much I tried, winning her back was never the final result. That shit crushes an ego and goes straight past the heart and touches the soul. At least, that’s what I felt. Yet, this was my own self-inflicted pain. It was, partly, caused by having unresolved issues that manifested in wanting to prove that I wouldn’t get rejected.

I look at life like a game of Chess; I am the King and my life is my board. Now, in Chess, the King isn’t the most powerful piece, the Queen is. The Queen protects the King. Also, there is another Queen and King on that same board. Trying to go after the other Queen can be very detrimental, especially if you aren’t too good at playing the game. I was so attracted to countless other Queens that I allowed myself to lose sight of the very one who had my back, the one that was protecting me. In the end, all I got was a lesson that stuck with me to this day: Treat your woman how she deserves to be treated or you will lose her.

This King fucked up Royally, but the game isn’t over yet.