Ida B. Wells, Black Women And The Historical Defense Of Black Men With No Reciprocity

In one of US history’s(or herstory’s) more prominent examples of US Black Women’s desire to expose the brutality meted out by White Patriarchy upon Black Men, Ida B. Wells exposed the myth of Black men as savage and lascivious rape perpetrators worthy of the lynchings (“lynching” pluralized) that had abounded during the waning Reconstruction era. Prior to her own documentation of over 728 lynchings of Black men in the South during that time, Ida, as well as Frederick Douglas had been under the media spell of what white “historians” and media gatekeepers such as Harper’s Weekly referred to as the “The New Negro Crime”. It was a spin on the ideas espoused by Thomas Jefferson in his papers on Virginia whereby Black people were reduced to a scientific animal, a brute that couldn’t think and demanded dependence on White people. This idea of us being “animals” was magnified as Black men capable of moving up the socio-economic ladder threatened to erode the United States caste system of White Supremacy. Paula Giddings, writing in her impressive recording of Black Women in US history, paraphrases Philip A. Bruce from his 1889 publication “The Plantation Negro as a Freeman” by stating,”…Blacks, ‘cut off from the spirit of White society,’ had regressed to a primitive and thus criminal state. Bereft of the master’s influence, Blacks were now even closer to the ‘African type’ than the slaves had been.”(p. 27) According the impeccable and bravely established research of Ida, only a third of the murdered Black men had even been accused of rape, and many of the men had been slaughtered more for the crime of miscegenation and involvement with White Women under false accusations than actual rape.

Black men do not need to be defended for acting out of a media programmed behavioral set. We do not need to be coddled for our lack of responsibility, and definitely do not need to be pampered when we treat rape as an acceptable measure our masculinity. Black men seem to feel as though we need permission to defend Black women. Most of those that I consider Hip Hop evangelist are afraid that women are going to take away their testicles if Women are allowed to speak against the atrocities that they find in Hip Hop. Nobody is going to take away your precious rap music; in fact, I feel as though Black Women will be the first to help you edify the music and allow it to be the art form that it once was.

I often find my Self in a position of hypocrisy because I have used the term “rape” as a metaphor for attack and violation. And I am not always proud of that moment, and yet, my lack of pride in that moment is based on the pain I realize those words caused people that I love. My confidence wanes on that line. I do believe that as a Black male, my socialization into manhood presented Black women particularly as an enemy. I do believe that many other Black men in the US, and beyond, have been socialized to treat women as objects of sexual accomplishment. As a male, I am judged by the sexual desirability of the woman I live with, my masculinity is weighed by the type of woman I enjoy looking at, and I have been judged by the degree of violence I am willing to subject a woman to. I don’t see media alone as the culprit for Black criminalization; I have to begin to point the finger at the agents of the influence who bear the burden of the dirty work and bloody hands.

Black feminists and Womanist are not my enemy. Black women are not my enemy. The historical arch of Black Womanism with its roots in an alienation from White feminism is the buttressing and moral/intellectual protection of Black Men. I can no longer dodge the assessment by far too many Black Women that Black men do not reciprocate the sacrifice and courageous stance, thus defense, of Black Women, that Black Women have always shown and demonstrated towards Black Men. Black Womanism and Black Feminism had as its roots the politics of respectability based on a desire to have Black Men as patriarchs of their households. No matter how archaic we might find that desire, it still speaks and influences much of what can be revealed about the passionate attachment to Black men that Black Women have. In return, US Black Men have developed a culture that is the most exogamous of any other group of men on Earth.

Fucking Up Royally – A Love Story –

What is it about a woman? From their outer beauty to the characteristics that make them who they are, women always have a way of catching the attention of anyone with eyes. The type of attitude that they possess and the style that choose to express creates many thoughts inside of a man’s mind.

Enough of the obvious..

I’ve always had a problem with women. Since I was young, I always was attracted to older women. However, it was the younger ones who always ended up capturing my heart. I like to compare women to art; they’re masterpieces. Thus, this is where the problem comes in for me. My ex once told me that I was dramatic and I love attention. She told me that I need someone who can always hold my attention, because I am quick to go after something new. I couldn’t disagree with her, because it is true. There’s nothing like a woman who looks good, smells good, and is good at what she does. If you know what I mean.

I had a masterpiece, but I was too busy checking out all the other exhibits in the gallery. Now hindsight is a muhfucka. Hindsight can show you exactly who you were, how you were, and what you were. Unless one is seriously delusional or just in denial, one cannot deny the fact of what their own pasts provides. When I say this, I mean that a person’s past is filled with all of their own thoughts, words, and actions. When I look at my pasts, I see self-inflicted pain. I was a happy child and I smile and laughed a lot, but I had plenty of dark moments. Inside of those dark moments is where I found a lot of my strength. However, those same dark moments are the ones that produced ways that aren’t always the brightest of ideas.

Growing up, I loved chicks. I just didn’t trust them. Being from Detroit, you are apart of a specific type of culture. Fashion plays a big role in that culture and not having the means to participate in shopping sprees made it hard for the girls to want you. Sure, clothes aren’t everything, but try telling that to someone who believes otherwise. Once I got to high school, I was able to afford to get the desirable fashions. However, I was still holding on to the pain of rejection.

Everyone has some type of insecurity. Not everyone deals with the root of those issues. Being in a relationship, while not handling insecurity issues, can create so much unnecessary stress. I think I put my ex through more stress than I have put anyone else through. That’s not something you do with someone you love. I mean, stress kills! My love for women and my need to prove that I could get that woman’s attention was always a problem. I’m a natural flirt. I love to hold conversations and I love to make people laugh. Whenever you flirt, there is always something else occuring underneath the flattering words and the interaction. At times, the flirting would escalate to so much more. At the end of the day though, I knew who I loved. At least I thought I did.

The pain of losing a woman that you truly adore can be one of the most unbearable feelings to have to experience. It’s like wishing that the Sun would rise, but knowing that tomorrow will never come. No matter how much I tried, winning her back was never the final result. That shit crushes an ego and goes straight past the heart and touches the soul. At least, that’s what I felt. Yet, this was my own self-inflicted pain. It was, partly, caused by having unresolved issues that manifested in wanting to prove that I wouldn’t get rejected.

I look at life like a game of Chess; I am the King and my life is my board. Now, in Chess, the King isn’t the most powerful piece, the Queen is. The Queen protects the King. Also, there is another Queen and King on that same board. Trying to go after the other Queen can be very detrimental, especially if you aren’t too good at playing the game. I was so attracted to countless other Queens that I allowed myself to lose sight of the very one who had my back, the one that was protecting me. In the end, all I got was a lesson that stuck with me to this day: Treat your woman how she deserves to be treated or you will lose her.

This King fucked up Royally, but the game isn’t over yet.

Are Midwest Black Men Better At Relationships Than Mid-Atlantic Ones?

Not always sure how to articulate my feelings regarding topics that can either tickle an eureka response, or become the reason for yet another sixty-six blocks to the Owl’s Asylum Twitter account. Considering that particular hesitance and the dire need to qualify each statement in this modern age’s art of political correctness, the task of writing about Afkan (Afrikan-Amerikkkan) male and female (can I write ‘female’ there and not be written off before execution?) relationships can be daunting. As a disclaimer, I can only write from my perspective. My perspective should be defined as my experiences, my observations, my analysis, and my opinion. The key word there in case you missed the oh so awkward use of repetition is ‘my’. Carrying on…

 

Relationships of complete organic design can be filled with surplus tensions that cause the bond to become brittle. Western psychology and Freud’s specific thoughts on incest aside, even mother and son relationships can be tumultuous. This is not to compare that naturally configured coupling to the romantic sort, yet it is to say, it takes work at some point to keep people operating together. People meet with one set of concerns and desires, and later on evolve or devolve with new considerations and motivations. Relationships take work.

 

If I might beg your pardon for one important digression.

 

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