It has been an oft quoted question raised time and time again: can men and women be strictly platonic friends. In my earlier days of blindly hopping into the sack with women, be they friends or new acquaintances, i would have stated emphatically, “hell to the fuck no.” As I’ve matured, and experienced more of what life and other people have to offer, I’ve learned not only the beauty of celibacy, but the richness of having friends of the opposite gender that I’m sincerely not trying to make my penis kiss their cervix.
1) What happens if you actually become friends in the future and you have someone hanging around your future mate with intimate details about you?
It happens. You meet someone. You fuck someone. They work at your job. They live in your neighborhood. They are in your life. My mother knows what my dick looks like. My mother knows when my sister’s period is coming. So what? And this is one of the reasons I’d rather have a friend than just a lover with the title of friend. I don’t need a series of fuck relationships gone bad to come and haunt me. And they do.
People assume because you fucked, it is an assessment of you. It is not. My sex life doesn’t define my entire existence. Only a portion of my story.
If I meet someone, and we really have a bond, something unique, something unburdened by superficial assessments. Unbridled. I would allow them to know my pasts, meaning all of my transitions. If we are we fucking, man, we are sharing on a hell of a level. When men play basketball, we don’t forget who we played with. It is a networking environ. Even if I smoke a blunt with a guy two states over at an airport terminal in Atlanta, we have established a reason to contact one another again. Is sex less than that? Shouldn’t sex be more than that?
2) The devaluing of the word “friend”
I hate it. We meet. We fuck. You get a call from a family member or buddy. I incidentally get heard. A query is raised in the form of a statement.
“Oh, that’s my friend…”
You had to remind three times what your name was. You even asked me my last name. And I’m still wondering if you did that to know if we were family, or just to know.
Once again, it happens. People like to fuck. Okay?
I love pussy. I love slapping a woman’s exposed clitoris open hand. I love it. I love slapping titties across my face and then shoving both nipples in my mouth.
I’ve been snitched on by friends. I’ve fought friends physically. I’ve been robbed by friends. I’ve been manipulated by friends. I’ve learned to redefine that damned word so often that it appalls me to be limited by the word just because we fucked. We fucked. That was it. We didn’t fight bullies together. We didn’t share an adventure that served as a rites of passage. We fucked. That doesn’t make us friends.
I would love to be with this one friend of mine. But, I want to keep her as a friend. I don’t want to be the friend she fucked that one time. I don’t want to be the friend she fucked, tried to have a relationship with, and now can’t stand. I want to be her friend.
3) Sex creates a pseudo-relationship that causes people to not want to be as open as they would if the removal sex wasn’t there.
I get the concept, “pseudo-relationship.” All “relationships” are a relationship. I have a “relationship” with the postal worker in a neighborhood I’ve never walked in. I drive up to a mailbox, I drop a letter in. The postal worker reads the letter incidentally. He sees me at my night job asking someone if they need a drink. He tips me throughout the night as he buys drinks for the woman that stays in the house on the corner where the mailbox I dropped a letter into lives. A relationship is still more than just the interaction of people. Nomenclature can be murky here, but ultimately, every interaction I have with anything in life creates a relationship of some sort.
4) There is an assumed price tag with sex that makes people react in a petty way.
I’m from where sex sells. It has a price. In this world, most of us either respond to a pricetag or a toetag. Since most of us don’t have sex with our relatives, that will either mean we fuck for experience, emotion, or economy. Regardless, actually, of the initial reasoning, we tend to go through each of those motives as we spend time together. I have had sex for each of those with the same woman. I would imagine that the spectrum of capitalism and class, character, and choice, we all have, or will.
There comes a time when even friends take one another to tasks for debts owed. “Nigga!! I introduced you to your wife!” It happens. You spend so much time on earth, the one thing you will learn is that resources don’t jump up and follow a proper flow. This is why I choose the Open hand philosophy. Don’t steal or rob from me. Don’t lie to me. What is in my hand is yours as long as what is left is enough for my mission. And I hope that you are as willing to embrace the code of my people. Moving on.
If we are fucking, we are fucking. I’m giving you way more nuts than I’m getting. I know how my body operates. Don’t think just because I am the one with the dick that I owe you some special surcharge. I don’t allow female privilege tax in Asylum. I enjoy treating. I like a woman that likes the same. Unfortunately, if we are both measuring how much we have taken from the other in order to appease some blue book evaluation on pussy and dick, it blocks flow. And for those that don’t understand this, there is a large body of women influenced by Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown. I’d advise you to read my GreenDJHTY, and study the lyrics of said both.
5) One less bridge burned
I’m probably one of the most introverted, anti-social peoples you could run into. However, I value my network. I am only allowed this Asylum, my written works, because of the help of others. Sex comes with labels, entitlements,responsibilities and obligations. Can you think of four more dodged realities more dodged than those four? It wouldn’t surprise me if the intelligence behind evolution understood this. We love to fuck as humans. We dislike rejection necessary to find the proper mate, and we despise extra responsibilities which are a component of relationships. Every time we lay down with another personally sexually, we are responsible for the emotions of the person we are having sex with. You helped create those emotions, right? Alright then.
It doesn’t happen often, but, yes, it does happen. We meet a person that we had sex with, didn’t want to do more than have sex with them, and incidentally offended them. And even after being offended, they remained our friend. Now, for the majority of people you will meet…
It doesn’t work that way. People actually fuck less for economy and experience. Most of us have sexual encounters to assauge emotional pangs. That means if you don’t fit my requirements of a long term relationship, there is a very possible chance that you will consider me something like an enemy. That is a burned bridge, something I don’t need. And believe me, this happens on a level lower than sex very often in my life. I work in clubs, so I meet new women regularyly. A woman will met you on the auspices of business, and text you as if you promised a marriage. I can only speak as my Self: a man living my life. I’m sure women experience similar versions of this dealing with men, and I would love to post your thoughts, or read them in the comment section. Overall, though, we don’t respond amicably to rejection. I’d rather not stick my dick into a future enemy that would have worked better as a life-long friend.
6) Are you ready for a relationship, or was the sex truly enough?
Another good question.
We tend to use sex as validation or an experience. Unfortunately, with that comes the possibility of meeting someone you could have a child with and a marriage.
Most of us believe that we are adventurous. Yet, looking at the degree by which humans choose rulerships of a conservative nature, I’d surmise that most of us are fearful of change, and seek stability. There is a notion that the majority of women seek men that are less mature and resposible then them Selves. I’d believe that to be true amongst most immature women, however. The majority of humans enjoy a balanced and controllable romantic or sexual relationship. This implies longevity at some point. I would advise that any one who hasn’t self-analyzed to the degree of understanding these words to take some meditation classes. Before you have sex, you should know what you want out of that experience. Sex can be more addictive than cocaine. If you truly believe you understand your motives, more power to you. Personally, I like relationships, and I’d like to be in one before introducing someone to my fucked for fun factory.
7) Friendships are difficult enough to maintain without worrying about who is going to spring for condoms or day-after pills.
I was listening to Drake earlier. Not because Joe Budden made the very homosexual comment he did-and I’m a Budden fan- but, because it was playing on the radio. I liken my relationship with my skill set like my friendship. In fact, I style my writing like my friend. It is difficult enough to be a writer without adding politics and economics into the equation. Unlikely is the person able to accomplish this. I consider the same with my friends. Sex complicates things. It makes people consider an element of eternal that is difficult to dissolve in the mind of another without burns. If we have made it the point of friend, then I would rather not destroy that with a nut.
And after I’ve written all this…I’d rather fuck a friend than a stranger. Geez…