If you aren’t playing the game, if you are only going on your heart’s interest, then you can’t help. Your heart can’t change people. If you don’t have the money to create venues and avenues for people to take advantage of, then you aren’t helping. The game is not just psychology;the game is economics. It is like in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If you are talking about self-esteem and self-worth, and I’m starving, do you really think I’m paying attention to what you are saying? If I’m worried about answering my door and getting shot, do you really think I’m considering my self-esteem or my heritage? Brothers will not help brothers;sisters will not help sisters; I don’t care what is in your heart, there is an economic component tied to this.
I have a slave job. I don’t call it my slave job because of Black and White. I call it my slave job, and sure- I’m proud of it- but it is apart of system where we work to make somebody else rich.
Owl: Your movie is entitled,”A Black Woman’s Worth: My Queen and My Backbone,” and you named your previous book,”A Black Man’s Worth: Conqueror and Head of Household.” What happens when you have the backbone making more than the conqueror?
Dwayne: I had this question early on Bernie Hayes’ show. A sister called in and asked about finances. Being in Corporate America, and dealing with a lot of brothers, I notice that it isn’t the sisters having money, as much as it is the sisters attitude about the money. Me saying that the man is the conqueror doesn’t always mean financially. It means that that man needs to be able to lead you: spiritually and emotionally. That brother may not have fat pockets, but if he has a good heart, a good mind, then that woman should be able to follow him. It isn’t necessarily that the brother has to be driving a benz, because she is driving a benz;or riding a range [rover] because she’s riding one, but it is the attitude about that. When you make it about the money, then our roles are not in sync in the first place.
Owl: As far as psychotherapy is concerned, why do you feel that some Blacks operate out of a crabs in the bucket mentality?