This is a post from our Asylum contributor, Charming Jerk. You can follow him here on Twitter.
It’s easy for a baby girl to turn a grown man into the most nurturing creature ever known, right behind a woman, whenever it lies within its father’s embrace.
A man is supposed to equip their child with the most appropriate tools to carry them from childhood until the depths of adulthood. Normally, when you think of the above statement, one may think about the perspective of a farther vs. a son. However, what if the son is actually a daughter?
Father and Daughter
Daddy’s Little Girl. Everyone knows the saying. With that commonly heard phrase comes so many trials and tribulations, the one triumph that a father could only ask for would be: Raising a daughter who isn’t a sucker to any man.
It starts from the very beginning
A father (well at least a man who upholds his part of the obligations between a father and his daughter) wants his baby girl to understand that he will always be there for her. Although, he cannot either physically or mentally be therefor her, he desperately attempts to at least compensate in every area that he can.
As time progresses, baby girl will have her share of disappointments. She will have her moments where she’d prefer not to be in the presence of her father or prefer for him not to be in her presence. With that in mind, understand that ANY GIVEN SITUATION can arise. Along that infinite list of possibilities, one possibility lurks in the darkness of the unfathomable: Your daughter doing the unthinkable for men.
Fast Forward to This Very Moment
Although I am not qualified to speak from the perspective of a man who has a daughter, since
A ) I don’t have a daughter
2 ) I don’t have any children
Furthermore, ALL OF THE ABOVE,
I do possess the ingenuity and audacity to tackle that thought, topic, discussion, and reality.
In my humblest of opinions, I recognize the issue(s) that women juggle, as well as women in training; baby girls. From dealing with an abundant amount of women throughout my 20s, college years, and some of my high school years, I’ve encountered a variety of different personality types. Underneath these accumulated experiences dwelled an inner child that yearned for her father to be what he was designed to be… a father.
Also, I’ve been a counselor, teacher, male figure, black male figure, big brother figure, as well as a father figure to hundreds of young girls during my days as an adult. Looking into the eyes of those youthful wonders allowed me to participate in the cultivation of intelligent, classy, graceful, fearless, talented, young girls. Although, I’ve worked with the same ratio of young boys, there is a certain distinction that must be acknowledged and practiced with dealing with the separate genders.
Here are my key ingredients on How to Teach Your DaughterNot to be a damn Sucker to Men:
- Be honest with your daughter.
Nobody likes a liar, including women. When a father lies to his daughter and she KNOWS that he lied to her, all of her feelings are crushed at that moment. MEANING: Any other male is able to fill that void at the moment.
- Discipline your daughter.
Although it may hurt you to hurt your daughter’s feelings, it is better to teach her now than to have her be taught later. MEANING: If you don’t instruct your daughter on the ways of men, she will depend on another man to expose her to these ways.
- Love your daughter.
All children need love. However, the love a father provides to a daughter has its own unique function. A mother can only teach a daughter so much. It took a man to help create her; it takes a man to help raise her. MEANING: If there is an inadequate amount of love, she will search for it, inevitably, in the wrong places.
- Respect your daughter’s privacy.
Everyone is entitled to some privacy. Although it may depend on how one decides to define the word “privacy”, it is safe to conclude that we all have a degree of right to our own of privacy. MEANING: If she is taught that her privacy can be invaded, she could end up allowing it to continue to be invaded.
- Communicate with your daughter.
Women love to tell you how they feel. Even when not saying anything, they are showing you how they feel. If you don’t communicate with your daughter, you could miss vital information that could save your daughter. A lot of men tend to leave the communication to the mother. They tell the mother what they think and expect the daughter to learn that way, in fear of offending their precious baby girl. Or, they could be silent, abusive, absent, or any other negative form of communication, with their daughter, that leads to her reacting in a not so appreciative manner. MEANING: If you don’t talk to your daughter, somebody else will. However, what they may be communicating to her could be the most dreaded thing you could ever imagine for her.
Let’s be realistic
There is no possible way that I could ever break it down to “Five Simple Rules” to guarantee that your daughter won’t end up on the list of some immature, too smart for their own good, misguided, sex-crazed man’s list of conquests. There are a multitude of variables that have to be taken into consideration and there are many other parts of the formula that may have been ignorantly left out. However, my point is not to break it down to the minutest of particles, my mission was to raise the conversation. If we, I’m speaking to all the men, aren’t there for our daughters, we allow the percentage of unforgiving acts of deprived women to skyrocket. I am merely attempting to establish some grounds to regain balance.
In conclusion, I leave you with these words: Fathers, be a Man & Men, be a Father. Do what’s right. Take responsibility and do what is commanded of you from the echoes of eternity, help raise our girls into women. Nothing more, Nothing less.