“What are we friends, because I know his name?” – Training Day
Touchy subject matter here, but let’s go, right?
I suppose the first question any woman would ask with regards to this topic is, what is a man’s friend zone or how to avoid it. And although those are understandbly pertinent questions, I would forward the answer through introjection: men do not have a friend zone, we have a “might-fuck-during-a-drought-but-never-wife” zone. Men above the age of 21 do not make friends, they build relationships with allies, associates, and affiliates. Men seek to barter, or swindle, for gain, fame, or just a good time. In short, he was not looking for a “friend” when he met you, he probably does not consider you one now after he has had sex with you. And if he has not had sex with you, either you put him in your friend zone,(assuming heterosexuality or at least bi-sexuality, and availability(ie. he is single, or he is in an open relationship/swinger, or he is a cheater) he is intimidated by you, or he is disgusted by you in some way, shape, or mode.
If this is too much to bear and your defense attorney from the offices of Cognitive Dissonance & Denial need more evidence, ask your Self a few questions regarding friends.(Now, and this is a huge “now”, now a days…I know quite a few of you sisters have had sexual intercourse with your friends, cool. In the same vein that he is not your friend just because he sends you complimentary updates on Twitter when he is single, she probably has a reason for being so helpful everytime she cannot find a man or woman. Just a heads up.) In the event that you have had sex with all of your friends, let it be understood that most men are not able to. Whether this be due to sexual orientation or repulsiveness, men are typically not in the position to do what many women in this time zone(era) are capable of. That being written, would a friend knowing you had intimate feelings for him, have sex with you, basically taking advantage of you, and then tell you he has another woman, or just is not interested in you “like that”? Friends do not fuck friends that have feelings for them. I understand that women have this practice of “sympathy pussy”. Men do not have such practices. Men are not prone to giving “complimentary penis”.
If you were that much of a friend, he would have attempted to make it exclusive as men are primarily motivated by selfish acquisitions and possessive cannot begin to describe it. When women have sex with other women, they typically attempt to label both parties in an effort to sort things out in their heads. In fact, it is becoming more and more common for lesbians to avoid dating bi-sexual women, so that the potential heart break is not so potentially heightened by the degree of competition this presents. It is easier to forge commitments with people in boxes, than those in more fluid conditions. Men are no less prone to controlling women. The male friend zone, at best, is what the late Eazy-E referred to when he said,”put it in the freezer”. Meaning, sex on hold over. Meaning, you are not really friends, but he is not in the position to have sex with you as often as he would like, but he also does not want the opportunity of sex to slip away from him.
Regardless of whatever the posture, just because a guy has not completely moved on after sex does not mean he is now your buddy or pal. For whatever reasons you have decided to allow him to use you under the auspice of being his friend, trust, those sentiments are not returned. When you call him late at night seeking a comforting shoulder, he has a watch that is blinking red designating “booty call” hours and to him, to him this “comforting talk” is just necessary time wasting.
I thank you for your time reading this, be ever mindful out here ladies…