In a lot of ways, the most important lessons I have gleaned from my existence, my struggles, and my observations of protests and social political struggle is the law of acceptance. Now, anyone that has been reading my writing for more than a year now knows that Asylum is nothing near New Age Spirituality. Not to disparage New Age Spiritualist, but for the sake of clarity. When I type something such as “the law of acceptance”, what I am writing or aiming at in giving understanding of is that in my set of survival skills, a tenet crops up that suggests before I begin attempting to change or alter or even become emotionally charged by a thing or condition, I have to accept that it is in as many ways as possible given a certain respect for time and priorities. With respect to that tenet, often the first thing or condition I have to accept is my own Self.
(Okay, so this really is beginning to read like some New Age Spiritualist works, huh?)
I simply find that it is dangerous to make major moves in life without considering what it is I actually want, without accepting my most authentic pursuit. For me to initiate life altering transitions with no weight given to what I actually want, the other roads to what I want, or the even the possibility of not gaining my most authentic pursuits from a particular course of action is precarious. Then there is for me the basic act of emotional energy preservation. Easily typed: some things are just not worth the frustration or over excitement. I accept that a degree from a prestigious university might open many doors for a person(as it should) but that it does not mean that person is now more intelligent(as it should not).
The prayer, or mantra, in Alcoholics’ Anonymous is,”Accept the things I cannot change.” In my thinking, I would go so far as to write, “also, accept the things I can.” That completely revolutionizes the next two pleas in that particular prayer, but I think what I’m hinting at is felt. “Acceptance” does not mean for me to be overly submissive or to reduce myself to the influence or power of some thing or condition. It only means that I make myself aware of existence, admit that it exists, and note its fundamental, potential and actual qualities. Nothing more. That might read like a lot, but most of us reach adolescence with the ability to assess and analyze most of what needs to be assessed and analyzed rigorously fairly quickly and adeptly. Now, whether we choose to give certain situations “the benefit of the doubt”, overlook “the red flags”, or not follow “our first minds” is on us– not the ability to do or the faculty of doing.
We accept a thing or condition when we know it. Now, often, the term “know” is confused with the term,”presume”. I can “presume” to know a thing when I make the mistake of thinking that because I have an experience with something similar, or what I assume to be similar, and not the actual thing or condition and take actions that pronounce that error. An example would be fitting here: I do not know all US Whyte people. I am not even sure such a feat is humanly possible. The label I use is even questionable and should be questioned. “Does OWL mean Caucasians descending from Britain or can this also include those of Spanish heritage? How much ‘Whyte’ blood makes a person in OWL’s labeled group ‘Whyte’?” However, I make statements regarding the collective of United States citizens that might fall under the nomenclature of “White Person” or that identify as such pretty often. I accept that I know that I do not know. I accept that my ignorance may never be resolved on the topic of having a full enough knowledge of every US citizen that identifies or could reasonably be identified as “White Person”(given a proper standard set of defining elements). Now, for own my respect of accuracy and a certain respect for authenticity, I might force myself to sprinkle qualifiers in such a way that my use of the phrase “Whyte People” becomes “some Whyte People” or “the Whyte People I know or have come into contact with“. In this way, I sort of nod at my acceptance of a certain ignorance that cannot be resolved.
I can often be found making the statement,”Know what you want. No, really know what you want.” And what I mean by that is knowledge in the same way as one has with their more intimate items. Before I commit to some deed or transitioning factor, I should be well acquainted with it. As acquainted as I can be, with the ideal being a familiarity with that which I claim to want on the level of knowledge that I have of my boxer brief size. See, there used to be this confused state I would found my Self in where I had run around telling everybody how I wanted a particular thing or condition, and then I once I obtained it, I found that I really did not want it. And I would literally and loudly proclaim,”Oh, this is not what I wanted!!!” And that makes me look much more unconscious than I deem socially healthy. I was willing to accept that I had made such a goofy choice, but I was not willing to accept it as a course for my character development.
We will probably always find ourselves in situations where we are in pursuit of something with the notion that the course of action that immediately presents itself is the “best” route to what it is that we want. Ignorance of things and conditions seems to be fairly common in life. The amount of data to be known literally stretches the universe and possibly beyond. That is the first thing to accept. In the next case, in the act of wanting and in the act of admitting, there has to be a pronounced manner that affords us space to be honest about what actually is. That is acceptance, that act of knowing and admitting we know what actually is as opposed to what we wish things or conditions to be. It is human to not know what works or what a tempting item actually is prior to it biting us. What helps is accepting that we do not know which opens up the option of actually finding out what some thing or condition actually is.