No Strings Attached and Other Casual Sex Considerations

This post is brought to you today by our Asylum family, @Cinnamonstrous on twitter. She has blessed Asylum with a post discussing the risks of casual sex. I have enjoyed it immensely and I’m sure you will to. As she is a friend of Asylum, I ask that you show her the utmost respect in the comment section!


This blog serves as a warning to those of you thinking you can do “casual sex” and not face any negative consequences. Believe me when I tell you this: somebody ALWAYS catches feelings. ALWAYS. If it’s not you… rest assured, it’s the other person. They may keep it well-hidden at first. You might *think* everything is fine. Until they see you out with someone else, maybe. Or suddenly start wanting a lot more of your time and attention. Sometimes the feelings are light and superficial. Sometimes… they go much deeper.


Why do I bring this up? I’m guessing the majority of my readers are women. And like it or not, ladies… we tend to be the more emotional of the species. I don’t want you chicas going out trying to jump into these NSA relationships thinking it’s just about sex and getting your feelings hurt. Nor do I want you to get involved with a man who becomes emotionally unstable and causes you any harm. Cuz don’t kid yourselves – men catch feelings too. And they can get just as crazy as women when they’re jealous. Maybe worse. =/ I have gotten lucky so far. L was cool with what we had, while we had it, and is now respectful of my relationship with M. I am, however, watchful of Miss G. I wasn’t going to say anything about this at first, because I don’t feel people should be defined by their sexuality (unless they’re rapists or child molesters, but I’ll save that rant for another day). But um… yeah. G and I had sex. With L. Yes. You read that right.


It was something I had wanted to try for a while, back when I was still with the BD. Believe it or not, he was completely against it. We actually got in a big argument about it. So when I became single, I started thinking about it again. But really, I thought it would be kinda difficult to pull off while in a relationship. How do you choose a third party, would I be jealous of a man I love/have feelings for having sex with another woman, etc. Having sex with total strangers didn’t sound all that appealing either though. The middle ground I ended up finding – doing it with two people I was friends with, who were actually already in an NSA relationship with each other. It was interesting, that’s for sure! G has become a lot closer to me since this has happened. I’m not sure yet if this is in a good or bad way. But I’m taking my own advice on this one: constantly monitor and re-evaluate the nature of these NSA relationships to save yourself (and those you’re involved with) the trouble, heartache and drama. Cuz hell, I can barely handle the issues men bring into a my life – I don’t want any woman problems!


I know what you’re thinkin. “You brought it upon yourself. You asked for it. Ain’t nobody tell you to mess with a woman!” Yea. I know. Shut up. -___- I’m just sayin. You should think these things through before jumping into them. And after you’ve thought them through… think through them a second and third time. And if you go through with it, continue thinking through whatever consequences might come your way. These hormones are serious things though. They will make you feel things that seem real. I can attest to this, as I suffer from PMDD. Once a month, I feel like an emotional wreck for about a week before the red zone. I KNOW I shouldn’t be upset with someone asking me to make their eggs over easy, but I FEEL like throwing the eggs at them and screaming “FUCK YOU AND YOUR RUNNY-ASS EGGS!” Not for any particular reason either. Mood swings come outta nowhere, at any given time. But see, I’m aware that this will happen. I am still kinda grouchy that week, but I tell myself I KNOW it’s just the hormones, and I deal with it. (That and maca root to balance me out so that I don’t have to be on medication.) But if you’re not anticipating this, and can’t recognize when your feelings are taking precedence over logic… I’d highly advise you not to do casual sex. And even if you can, I’d highly advise you to be extremely cautious about who you have it with. It’s really not meant to be casual. Ignore my warnings and you’ll find yourself in a world of hurt…