On Black Men, Bitches, And Pussy

I just can't win...
And I like Her...wow...
Geezues!!! Lawd On High, or that is High...smoke one with me...
See what I'm Talking About!!

Alright.

 

I’m on twitter and this sister drops a comment about men and lying. She has this image of her legs with a sponge over her, well, you see it. So, every now and then I like seeing it in my timeline(My apologies…still working on the pornograpy problem.) I responded to her by typing,”
I’m going to lie. Or tell you something you may be offended by. Can I skip the test and the background check?”

Alright...a little bold, but honest...
Hey, the guy can be a bit candid...eh, sometimes too candid..

 

So, she asks me if I have to lie why bother, or something to that effect. We toss a few really cool twts(responses via twitter) at one another, I thought it was really cool…until she calls me a “pussy”.

 

Now, regardless of my extremely testoterone imbalanced past, I can tell you, she touched a nerve. I didn’t respond to her in like. I simply told her,”Please…don’t make me do it. I already can’t get the follow from you. If I say this…you’ll block me.”

 

Now, for those who don’t use twitter a block means I can’t respond to her. I can see her timeline if she is not private(I have to ask for permission to see her timeline(the statements she has made via twitter), but if she is…no good). Of course, I am now upset. Regardless if I respond to her or not, the energy exist, I’m responding to people, and my base is primarily Black Women. Not a good mixture. I will be honest though. I thought I handled myself well. Some felt that certain images I conjured up were a bit too much, but I felt like I wasn’t resorting to the “b” this, “h” that routine that most men do.

 

The comment that touched the most nerves was when I responded,” My fault, Queen…young sister made some really rude statements cuss she couldn’t stand in her on period blood” Now, I apologize. I didn’t know the phrase period blood was going to cause so much harm. I was in several conversations via Twitter’s direct(private) messages and on the timeline in public. I still haven’t responded to everyone, hence the reason I wrote this.

 

I am still not quite sure if I owe an apology other that to admit that I didn’t know it would cause such a stir. I’m not quite sure about what is politically correct for a man to say to a woman, since women are saying so much to men. It is very difficult to know exactly what is appropriate if it is acceptable for you to call me a “pussy”(meaning weak), but the minute I call another man a “pussy” in the same context, then I am a target for the Black Feminist Liberation Army.

 

To be completely honest I had to ask a woman friend was I a sexist! I even ran to the book shelf and grabbed “Ain’t I a Woman” by bell hooks and started going over my notes in there. I was really trying to find out what I had done wrong!

 

So now I am in this funk of sorts, wondering if I am the guilty party for using terms the way they are being used. I’m like, well women have been through this and that in the male power environment. Then I thought about it…well, not Black Women. Possibly in the White Male Power environment, but you don’t have that history within the American Black experience. No matter what I say about Bro. Louis(Min. Farrakhan) I can’t deny his wisdom in placing a woman imam(Minister) over a whole region(South Region). Not only did he break fundamental Islamic conventions by naming a woman as an Imam(probably punishable by death in some countries) he named her head over a whole region.

 

Ericka Huggins, A widow at the age of 19, was leader of the Black Panther Party on the West Coast. She is the widow of Bunchy Carter, who was assassinated by the US organization. She was the head of the Black Panther Party region most associated with the C.R.I.P.S(Communist Reform In Progress Service). This is the region that would extend in to various street organizations. Do you get my point? Do you understand what she was head of? The type of men she was commanding?

 

The American Black woman has not had the history that other women have had. In no group of people is the woman raised to such a high position. In other countries many of the practices that American Black women deem as cultural would cause death. Even White American women look to the American Black woman for a paradigm of strength. How many cultures around the globe can boast of having two of the richest women…rich like Madame C.J. Walker in the early 20th century and Oprah Winfrey in our current times?

 

I don’t know. The more I address, the more problems I have to deal with. I am attacked for using “period blood” as a metaphor for accountability while the topic of my concern calls me “pussy”( a female organ by the way) and a “bitch”(a word that means FEMALE dog, if you didn’t know). So, am I wrong for stating that she can’t handle her natural problems, but she right for using terms that reflect the female gender as being weak? How so? How does that logic work?

18 thoughts on “On Black Men, Bitches, And Pussy

  1. you’re absolutely right in terms that the american black woman has enjoyed a much higher position of power than other women. however there is something to be said for the combination of white supremacy and how that effects black women in combination w/ patriarchy. particularly seeing how they were murdering and incarcerating the men.

    Coach said something interesting when talking about chess w/ him one day. He related the Queen to black women. Control of the board free to move anywhere but no protection. Sometimes in the lack of protection have caused a tendancy to lash out.

    besides bro u kinda fit the tupac w/ the degree some think they want. some folk really just dont know how to handle that lol

    1. I can feel that. Being entitled to the crown of the ancestors of slavery has to come with a certain preoccupation with strength. And a culture of slavery where the male really either had to be a great escape artist, or suicidal is going to limit views on what black male strength are. Even up to this point, most of what we see has been criminalized(the brute/thug). If the Black male strength is not at least partially palatable to white audiences it has a tendency to be social mocked. I understand the sister, I just don’t like the repercussions of expressing or defending myself with regards the topic.

      Oh…and hahahahahahahahha!!! You might be on to something!! hahahah!!

  2. you’re absolutely right in terms that the american black woman has enjoyed a much higher position of power than other women. however there is something to be said for the combination of white supremacy and how that effects black women in combination w/ patriarchy. particularly seeing how they were murdering and incarcerating the men.

    Coach said something interesting when talking about chess w/ him one day. He related the Queen to black women. Control of the board free to move anywhere but no protection. Sometimes in the lack of protection have caused a tendancy to lash out.

    besides bro u kinda fit the tupac w/ the degree some think they want. some folk really just dont know how to handle that lol

    1. I can feel that. Being entitled to the crown of the ancestors of slavery has to come with a certain preoccupation with strength. And a culture of slavery where the male really either had to be a great escape artist, or suicidal is going to limit views on what black male strength are. Even up to this point, most of what we see has been criminalized(the brute/thug). If the Black male strength is not at least partially palatable to white audiences it has a tendency to be social mocked. I understand the sister, I just don’t like the repercussions of expressing or defending myself with regards the topic.

      Oh…and hahahahahahahahha!!! You might be on to something!! hahahah!!

  3. Owl. You took what I said personally, as you often do (as you did with Isis) and was so upset by it, you had to blog about it. I was merely stating that lying was cowardice (hence the term “pussy”) and suggested you be honest. Honesty takes courage. The fact that you internalized the term has nothing to do with me and everything to do with how you view yourself. You told me you lie. I told you it was wrong. I also told you to drop it, yet I wake up to read that you still haven’t done so. I also have no knowledge of this “period blood” statement. You may have me confused with some other sister. Peace. Lo

    1. LO!! I stated that I can tell lies and I can say things that will be offensive. I do understand you were discussing males you interacted with that may have upset you. Cool. Did I attack YOU? Nope. I let you know I might say something that would make you block me. Very honest in my opinion, but I’m going to let you be the judge. Everything else followed from that conversation.

      I never internalized either term. If I had, then possibly I would have addressed you in less than gentlemanly mannerisms. Of course I’m going to blog about it, LO!! I’M A BLOGGER!! HAHAHAH!!

      Alright

      Beyond my personal enjoyments…

      This is what I’m talking about. I have no problem with it, but I don’t want to be labeled as a ‘sexist’ if I return fire. If “pussy” means “cowardice”…cool. Unfortunately, when I use it, it means purveyor of all that is patriarchial and oppressive to women globally. I can get called a “pussy”, but lawd forbid I use the term? I’m just saying. The conversation is bigger than me, it is bigger than you, (maybe not as big your…let me quit, *smiles*). So, in blogging, in addressing something that occurred, in the fact that as I avoided directly saying something to you that might have caused you to block me(no good there…), I said something poetic(I thought) to someone else. A bit vivid, a bit graphic…sure. But…I didn’t say what was said to me. But I still got marked.

      But um…Thanks for the visit…seriously….

  4. Owl. You took what I said personally, as you often do (as you did with Isis) and was so upset by it, you had to blog about it. I was merely stating that lying was cowardice (hence the term “pussy”) and suggested you be honest. Honesty takes courage. The fact that you internalized the term has nothing to do with me and everything to do with how you view yourself. You told me you lie. I told you it was wrong. I also told you to drop it, yet I wake up to read that you still haven’t done so. I also have no knowledge of this “period blood” statement. You may have me confused with some other sister. Peace. Lo

    1. LO!! I stated that I can tell lies and I can say things that will be offensive. I do understand you were discussing males you interacted with that may have upset you. Cool. Did I attack YOU? Nope. I let you know I might say something that would make you block me. Very honest in my opinion, but I’m going to let you be the judge. Everything else followed from that conversation.

      I never internalized either term. If I had, then possibly I would have addressed you in less than gentlemanly mannerisms. Of course I’m going to blog about it, LO!! I’M A BLOGGER!! HAHAHAH!!

      Alright

      Beyond my personal enjoyments…

      This is what I’m talking about. I have no problem with it, but I don’t want to be labeled as a ‘sexist’ if I return fire. If “pussy” means “cowardice”…cool. Unfortunately, when I use it, it means purveyor of all that is patriarchial and oppressive to women globally. I can get called a “pussy”, but lawd forbid I use the term? I’m just saying. The conversation is bigger than me, it is bigger than you, (maybe not as big your…let me quit, *smiles*). So, in blogging, in addressing something that occurred, in the fact that as I avoided directly saying something to you that might have caused you to block me(no good there…), I said something poetic(I thought) to someone else. A bit vivid, a bit graphic…sure. But…I didn’t say what was said to me. But I still got marked.

      But um…Thanks for the visit…seriously….

  5. I don’t feel that you were being sexist or demeaning black women on a whole. You said the comment to me and I wasn’t offended I took it as situational and an expression of how you felt about your interaction with one person.I also saw the poetry in it and respected the words. In other words, I took it back to elementary english class and read all the context clues with a clear regard of your character in mind. As I said before, the people who were offended were not ready to hear what you said because they were dealing with their own issues. I don’t think by reading your reply to someone else and judging you for it that they were trying to constructively criticize or enlighten you. Their intent was to make you see their hurt and censor yourself accordingly, but that’s just how I see it.

    1. You are right. By virtue of the fact that none of them have stepped foot in this blog with a response, I believe their motives weren’t as sincere as they made them. Hell, you and Lo have come in here with responses. They saw the blog post. They knew what was going on. I just wish people would see past 140.

  6. I don’t feel that you were being sexist or demeaning black women on a whole. You said the comment to me and I wasn’t offended I took it as situational and an expression of how you felt about your interaction with one person.I also saw the poetry in it and respected the words. In other words, I took it back to elementary english class and read all the context clues with a clear regard of your character in mind. As I said before, the people who were offended were not ready to hear what you said because they were dealing with their own issues. I don’t think by reading your reply to someone else and judging you for it that they were trying to constructively criticize or enlighten you. Their intent was to make you see their hurt and censor yourself accordingly, but that’s just how I see it.

    1. You are right. By virtue of the fact that none of them have stepped foot in this blog with a response, I believe their motives weren’t as sincere as they made them. Hell, you and Lo have come in here with responses. They saw the blog post. They knew what was going on. I just wish people would see past 140.

  7. I’m seriously laughing over here. Hey, man. I’m no self-proclaimed “feminist” or “womanist” or whatever the new label is for women nowadays. I cuss like a sailor and I speak my mind. Saying, “pussy” or “bitch” is not even a curse word in my house. My grandmother’s favorite word was, “pigfucker.” I think you focused way too much on me swearing, equated it to me emasculating you, then threw CJ Walker in there for an added bonus. None of that has anything to do with what was really being said. You were trying to justify lying and I disagreed with you. Lying is an undesirable personality trait. Along with embellishment and overreacting. Don’t mask what was said with extraneous stuff about the black woman respecting the black man etc. That is moot. By lying you disrespect everyone including yourself. This was about you admitting that you would lie in a relationship. Own up to that and nevermind that I swore at you. This has nothing to do with black heritage, it has everything to do with you and your personality traits. I’ve heard many opinions on this blog and women are incredulous at the fact that you turned this into some debate about black women. Then, I come back to see your feeble attempt to insult me again (“not bigger than your”) what? My mouth?? If so, that’s the only thing I agree with you on.

    1. I never back peddled on the lying part. I’ve lied. I will lie again. I can be extremely blunt. I can put my foot in my mouth. I can curse. I can express every form of communication, and I find myself in enough varied and sometimes precarious situations in which I have lied, or told the truth in the face of loss. Indeed.

      Now, Lo, you said that you had lied. When I compared your lying to my lying…that is when I became a pussy. Now, I get it that you were upset. Heated memory, I don’t hold that against you. Like I said, I didn’t want to offend you or incense you any further so I left it alone. Upset, yeah, I was. But I felt I had released the steam in the best way I could. Others joined in. THEN it became the Madame CJ Walker thing. I NEVER made it political, beyond what it already was. SOMEONE else chimed in, said this is the reason they blocked me before, the whole spiel. THEY made it into another front for the gender war. I just brought my thoughts to where I always bring my thoughts.

      LO! You can’t recognize a compliment when you see one, huh?

  8. I’m seriously laughing over here. Hey, man. I’m no self-proclaimed “feminist” or “womanist” or whatever the new label is for women nowadays. I cuss like a sailor and I speak my mind. Saying, “pussy” or “bitch” is not even a curse word in my house. My grandmother’s favorite word was, “pigfucker.” I think you focused way too much on me swearing, equated it to me emasculating you, then threw CJ Walker in there for an added bonus. None of that has anything to do with what was really being said. You were trying to justify lying and I disagreed with you. Lying is an undesirable personality trait. Along with embellishment and overreacting. Don’t mask what was said with extraneous stuff about the black woman respecting the black man etc. That is moot. By lying you disrespect everyone including yourself. This was about you admitting that you would lie in a relationship. Own up to that and nevermind that I swore at you. This has nothing to do with black heritage, it has everything to do with you and your personality traits. I’ve heard many opinions on this blog and women are incredulous at the fact that you turned this into some debate about black women. Then, I come back to see your feeble attempt to insult me again (“not bigger than your”) what? My mouth?? If so, that’s the only thing I agree with you on.

    1. I never back peddled on the lying part. I’ve lied. I will lie again. I can be extremely blunt. I can put my foot in my mouth. I can curse. I can express every form of communication, and I find myself in enough varied and sometimes precarious situations in which I have lied, or told the truth in the face of loss. Indeed.

      Now, Lo, you said that you had lied. When I compared your lying to my lying…that is when I became a pussy. Now, I get it that you were upset. Heated memory, I don’t hold that against you. Like I said, I didn’t want to offend you or incense you any further so I left it alone. Upset, yeah, I was. But I felt I had released the steam in the best way I could. Others joined in. THEN it became the Madame CJ Walker thing. I NEVER made it political, beyond what it already was. SOMEONE else chimed in, said this is the reason they blocked me before, the whole spiel. THEY made it into another front for the gender war. I just brought my thoughts to where I always bring my thoughts.

      LO! You can’t recognize a compliment when you see one, huh?

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