On Plug And Play Relationships…and other dumb nigga/bitch shit…

“In computing, plug and play is a term used to describe the characteristic of a computer bus, or device specification, which facilitates the discovery of a hardware component in a system, without the need for physical device configuration, or user intervention in resolving resource conflicts.

Plug and play refers to both the boot-time assignment of device resources, and to hotplug systems such as USB and Firewire.” – Wikipedia, Plug And Play Entry

“The large variety of different cards that can be added to PCs to expand their capabilities is both a blessing and a curse. As you can see from the other sections that have discussed system resources, configuring the system and dealing with resource conflicts is part of the curse of having so many different non-standard devices on the market. Dealing with these issues can be a tremendously confusing, difficult and time-consuming task. In fact, many users have stated that this is the single most frustrating part of owning and maintaining a PC, or of upgrading the PC’s hardware.

In an attempt to resolve this ongoing problem, the Plug and Play (also called PnP) specification was developed by Microsoft with cooperation from Intel and many other hardware manufacturers. The goal of Plug and Play is to create a computer whose hardware and software work together to automatically configure devices and assign resources, to allow for hardware changes and additions without the need for large-scale resource assignment tweaking. As the name suggests, the goal is to be able to just plug in a new device and immediately be able to use it, without complicated setup maneuvers.” – The PC Guide

Those reading this will have to excuse the crumbs on the screen, I’m writing this while eating my favorite snack, Fritos Flavor Twists Honey BBQ. I didn’t always like them. In fact, I thought most snacks where pure disgust for the body. But, I have learned to enjoy this treat from time to time. Those that know me, know I don’t eat many snacks–scratch–those that know me know that I don’t eat much at all, let alone salty corn manufactured for lower economic tastes. Yet and still…

I actually picked up this crunchy and flavorful chip product while working on my associates degree. I became hungry one night, I suppose, attempting to figure out why you couldn’t just reinstall the operating system without also downloading twelve drivers just to get the god-forsaken dv-rw drive to work. For those that don’t know, a driver is a software program that interacts with elements of your operating system and acts like a middle man, or woman, for the operating system and certain hardware. It is the drivers that allow for what we call in the industry, plug and play interactivity. Plug and play is when you plug your mouse into your laptop or desktop and it automatically works without having to install third-party software. If you have ever been up for three nights in a row searching for drivers so that you could pass your A++ qualification test–yeah, at Ranken Tech you have to actually qualify before you are allowed to take your A++ hardware test–then you can understand how much of a convenience a plug and play device really is.

What I’ve found out is that many people believe a relationship is more plug and play than driver searching. No relationship worth the weight of the parties involved in a struggling chyna white addict’s pocket lint comes plug and play. I apologize if you sincerely thought you were going to just meet someone and everything go one hundred percent correctly without a serious effort. Welcome back from that stupor of ecstasy, ever clear, and good sex…to the world where tomatoes are confused fruit that still have to be planted somewhere, watered, and nurtured into juicy seeded vegetables. Or whatever, right?

Point in discussion, I don’t expect every woman that I meet while single to be willing to some of the many tricks I like in bed. Nor do I expect her to be willing to listen to me, read my works, appreciate my humor, or consider the psychology of my past when I react hypermasculine. These are behaviors that some women will already have when I indulge them, but not all. This is the purpose of the courting phase. I don’t want to be with someone that cannot appreciate reading a history book more than some book used as a counter impulsive buy by the store. And the woman that I deal with should have her own considerations when approaching me, because, no, I’m not naming my child “Osiris,” “Seven,” “Eight,” or “Nine.” That shit is just not going to happen…call me whatever, just don’t call me the father of “HorusRisen.” Jokes and reasons why black boys have to learn how to fight in the first grade aside, there simply is no plug and play manner of dealing with one another in a semi-intimate manner. Let alone intimate.

Alright, my definition of intimate is a bit different. Fellas, you thrusting your pelvis in some woman you just met at the Lauren Hill concert is not “intimate.” I don’t give a damn how much you sang,”that thing” in falsetto or how much she laughed…one common interest makes not a sealed bond. In the Asylum unabridged dictionary, “intimate” implies not only a personal or private act, it refers to one in which both parties have a motive, a history, a shared expression of hobby, and a desire to affectionately and sexually explicate the exact measure of emotion felt when sharing time with one another. Please read that again, I had to pace my apartment twice, take out the trash, and I’ll be damned if you don’t understand that last sentence that I ate my last twisted BBQ Fritos attempting to write for you.

Stop looking for easy answers. You aren’t going to meet someone and everything just meshes, just people that mesh more than others. I understand how difficult it can be in this society to apply the socialized standards that we are given to rate our future mates. Yet, as a person that has watched to people who married based on the superficial criteria and economic security that capitalism informs us we should share spit, sperm and spread screams serenading the birth of children for, and yet know the ending of that story, I’d advise anyone I speak with to consider the work that comes with building a relationship based on more organic measures.