…The Nerdy Nigga Strikes Back…

Alright…

I came across this interesting (why do I hate that word) blog posting from a sister I met on twitter. The blog post is entitled, “Never Satisfied: Why Nerdy Black Men Can’t Find Happiness.” And the piece is written by a sister that can be found on twitter under the screen name @BlaqueConscious. Now, as I am writing this, we are dialoguing about the piece on twitter. As those of you who follow my writings know, I don’t attack people, I murder mindsets.

I would honestly ask that you read the post. It is very well written; passionate to say the least. I didn’t want to bias my response with my own emotions, because, well, the piece is personal enough in my opinion. I don’t know the sister beyond the three blog posts of hers I have read in the past, I do know she has a certain contempt for the culture of brothers that “ride high”(driving cars on rims above 28”). And to be completely fair, I do believe I could agree with her, if I could only narrow down what exactly we are referencing as a “nerd.” Due to the colloquial nature of the piece, I can’t use dictionaries to define a word that obviously has its own history of connotations, especially in a piece that is as subjectively biased as this one.
What I can do is what I am best at: Ask questions.

With the questions answered maybe I can further my over all opinion on the subject. Until those questions are answered, I can only analyze the piece and attempt to gain my own understanding for her point of view, and continue the dialogue as I am always known to do.

Never satisfied.

I remember once when I was much younger, a young lady posed this question to me and an acquaintance, “What is satisfaction?” Now, at that time, in my pre-post-adolescence, around 17, my mind ran for the first scenario it could, buying tennis shoes. I responded with the confidence of salesman, “Well, when I see a pair of shoes that I like, I want them. When I buy them I satisfied, and even more so after I wear them. But, after awhile, I’m not as satisfied, and I want another pair.” She was impressed (as young ladies can be by handsome charm, no matter how superficial the analogy) and she replied that she understood that, and she began into her on spiel about shoe shopping and satisfaction.

Allow me to bring this into context.

What we are discussing here, or rather what the blog post in question is theorizing, is “nerds” and their inability to initiate romantic and/or sexual encounters or relationships with desirable women, specifically desirable Black (American) women (Excuse me, BLACK “nerds”, and I am going to assume by the author’s context that she means American born, or US American born Black “nerds”). The author, @BlaqueConscious (and from hence forth, this post will refer to her by that name), states…

“Nerdy black men (like nerdy white men) know they are not in a position to be the ALPHA MAN women desire (with looks, money, and power) in their pre-success years yet these individuals believe women (mainly black women) should be falling all over them anyway. Not only should black women be falling all over them, but we should also stick by their sides while they are trying to move up in the world despite all their shortcomings. Why do they expect this? Because nerdy black men are supposedly the ONLY “good” black men left in the world (let them tell it). Black women (not just any black woman but the “dime” piece…more on this later) are supposed to forget that these individuals most often lack charisma (swagger or whatever you want to call it), lack any type of personality, are awkward as fuck, are uncomfortable in social settings (parties & clubs), are often times broke as hell, can’t dress, don’t know the first thing about “wooing” a woman, often times tend to be angry at the world for their inability to overcome being a social pariah, and they are generally unpleasant to be around. “

Well, hell, let’s end the discussion right there, right! Here we have it: The non-ALPHA MAN, who wants to be appreciated for abiding by the societal script of being the “good black man” that we all read about in our fairy tales wants to be with an attractive woman. But he can’t. Why? They lack “swagger”, they lack a personality, they are awkward(as “fuck” I must add), and they are not used to being at “parties & clubs”. Wait…did I mention: they are often broke(as “hell” I must add), they don’t dress in a fashionable manner, and they don’t know the first thing about charming a woman out of the club into the backseat of a rented Lexus, or even over his or her house later in the week for sex. Am I reading too much into the statement?

I don’t have a problem with this actually, because I feel it is simply a description. However, what I get out of it may be offensive to some. Many men who have a solid sense of fashion, who do have a great and winning personality, and who enjoy themselves in clubs also are having a difficult time securing a sexual encounter with the same desirable Black women. I am not even discussing a full-fledge romantic encounter, or a relationship. Why do you think guys like Tariq Nasheed can build a career off of books like, “The Art of Macking”? I mean, seriously, there is a whole field of guys who go around teaching men how to approach women, and most of them are talking to white men. I’m also seeing a breach of interests here. Everybody isn’t comfortable in clubs or social settings. There is a reason why alcohol related accidents are high, because people like to get comfortable with intoxicants in social settings, namely the club and parties.

Let me get back to a line I just wrote. I stated that there seems to be a disconnect in interests. While taking a break today, I was discussing boring hobbies with one of my friends on campus. We both enjoy writing, but he doesn’t enjoy graphic design. He thinks Photoshop and illustrator are boring. I agree. He also said that most people have boring hobbies though. I tend to agree with this as well. The degree of persistence with anything can become cumbersome to an individual with no prerequisite desire to learn that thing. Even those who have an enormous degree of joy practicing certain things can experience what is known as “burn out” after awhile. So, what if we don’t like the same things? What happens when your skill set doesn’t allow you the opportunity to develop certain social skills? Then you are probably going to become labeled a “nerd”?

This is an interesting paragraph, I will return to it in later blog posts, it may be referred to as “Exhibit A”. Moving on…

She continues to write:

“I want you to think back to the time when you were in high school. In that time was there ever a popular girl (cheerleader, student body president, homecoming queen etc) in a relationship with a nerd/geek? I can honestly say NO! When I was in high school I was student body president and guess what? My boyfriend and high school sweetheart at the time was captain of the football team. As a popular pretty girl I was checking for a popular good-looking boy and vice versa. Why? Because in our high school social hierarchy he was the ALPHA MAN and I was the ALPHA WOMAN.
Julius Caesar could have had any woman he desired (though I believe he was married). Yet he set his sights on Cleopatra, the baddest woman in the land. Cleopatra could have any man she wanted, but she set her sights on the married Julius Caesar, the baddest emperor in the land. What does this tell us? Those at the top don’t usually go for those at the bottom (and it’s been that way for centuries). A nerd is at the bottom. A dime piece (who is at the top) is more than likely not going to go for a nerd. The only way a dime piece would go for a nerd is if he CHANGED his status (with money) or if he transformed from a nerd to man with presence. **Side
note—For those of you who don’t know what the term “dime piece” means it is slang for a woman who is a TEN on the attractive measuring scale.”

First off, I really wish this sister wouldn’t have said high school. The first thing that I thought reading it was, “Oh, so we are discussing high school practices. High school, like back when I was a juvenile? So could this be considered a juvenile mentality? Yeah, great. Your standard is an immature social paradigm. Great. Thanks…but no thanks, when I was a child I thought and acted as one…” The second thought that came to my mind was a historical one, which made me wish she didn’t use this particular historical reference. The author may not consider Barack Obama a nerd, but I wonder if Michelle Obama would be considered one.

If we can still recall the Inaugural Ball, we witness the lack of grace and rhythm of the first Black(Progeny of US American slaves) Lady. We know that Michelle is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law. We also know that she grew up on the South Side of Chicago. We also know that she skipped the second grade, and by the sixth grade she was in gifted classes. We also know that she attended a magnet high school, Chicago’s first, she took advanced placement classes, a National Honor Society member, as well as the treasurer for her student council. Damn, Michelle, too bad you couldn’t have been the president, you would have been a bad ass dime dating the head of the football team.

A brilliant woman in her own space, we also have pictures of her as a juvenile and we know that she is not the coveted “dime”(oh, that is slang for a woman who is a TEN on the attractive measuring scale…yeah, the same one used to describe Bo Derek’s character in “10” circa the early 1980s. Oh, yeah…”10″, the movie about the nerdy screen-writer who seduces the woman who is a dime…eh..). So, we have the president of one of the most powerful countries in our time being involved with a nerd. This is of course because the baddest man on the planet, the big capital letter ALPHA MAN, wants to be with…er..uh, um…a woman who loves him for him, appreciates his interests, can hold a conversation beyond “America’s Next Top Model”, and would make a great mother for his children?

Alright, I think I’ve beat that up enough.
More fuel to burn…:

“Why the hell aren’t you pursuing/lusting after nerdy black women (your female counterparts) instead of dime pieces? It doesn’t matter what college you go to in this country. Chances are there are MORE black women walking around that campus than black men. Chances are a number of those black women are NERDS. Why aren’t nerdy black men beating down their door? Could it be they don’t find their female counterparts as appealing as the dime pieces? I think so. If black nerds won’t date a black female version of themselves how the hell do they figure a dime piece would date them?
When Bill Gates married he didn’t go out here and pull a Cindy Crawford supermodel type (though I’m sure with his money he could have). No, he went and pulled a female version of himself. His wife is just brilliant and nerdy as he is, but the important thing is they compliment each other. They make each other happy. He didn’t go chasing waterfalls. He stuck to the rivers and the lakes that he was used to. “

Just as brilliant and nerdy. He stuck to the rivers and the lakes that he was used to…yeah, the elite and extremely successful ones…And now I need a drink. Oh well…

Once again, I’m at a loss for apt analysis, mainly because, I don’t know any black men or women that date without having a social interest that at least brings them into proximity with one another. If I am a club type dude, then I’m going to meet a woman there that at least likes to go to the club every once and awhile. Michelle meets Obama when he became her assistant. He took her to an art museum, common interests, or at least one she was able to appreciate, and then they went to go see Spike Lee’s classic movie about nerds having sex with dime women because their alpha male, my fault, their ALPHA MALE(did you hear the echo in the room…read it again, I swear it’s an experience!), boyfriend tells them to…before he dumps her for the next dime—“School Daze.” I’m just not getting it.

I’m on campus at a predominantly white university, so I understand her point about there being more black women on campus. Very true. Of course, I see the same pattern here as what I’ve discussed earlier. Most of the couples I see here are people who have either shared a class with one another, meet in an organization, or played sports and encountered one another during practices. People don’t meet out of the sky. Hell, people can’t even meet long distance without some social medium and an interest. So, either I don’t know any nerds, or the nerds that I know by virtue of basic physics have all met people on the job, in classrooms of their major(hint hint), and or an athletic association…whoops..and this is my point, not only do the people I refer to as nerds have women in their lives, they also play ball. Distinctions are so important.

Okay, I better deal with this now. Beauty standards aren’t natural occurrences and they change from culture to culture depending on the decentralization of the country’s media with the worlds. Considering that most countries are more insular racially, and the US as well, most people will based their standards on women who look like those found in their race. Which sort leans on my point. What is a dime to one man, shouldn’t be a dime to another, but conformity and ego will set in, and most of us are drawn to the women we see on television and in magazines. With the advent of hip-hop music videos the desirable physical features of black women changed some from what was desirable in the eighties. One case in point is the oft debated “thick” definition. What was thick in the eighties for most black men, might be consider skinny, possible even petite now. Given that most of our media is owned, excuse me, all of our media is white-controlled, and the images of women will reflect that. What we also know about media representations of women as sexual objects is that the models represent an almost impossible standard. This is what white women are saying. As far as what black “nerds” are passing up, I seriously question if this is a national pattern, and men that are ALPHA MALES(did you hear it?) are even dating white women, as well as the so-called thugs.

As a total critique of the piece, as a literary element…I’m in love with it. Unfortunately, I’m one of those guys that “dumbed” down during school and in conversations to avoid the problems with being labeled a geek and or a nerd. Possibly my response to this piece is due to that. I don’t take personal issue with it, I have many more demons to deal with than that, but I do wonder how many other brothers and or sisters might be doing some of the things I went through or witnessed attempting to avoid that label. Even Barack Obama is touted more as the “hip” president, (i.e.,”he plays basketball!!”). Which is funny to me, because I realize that Barack probably couldn’t handle the same level of ball game that most young black males bring on the average ball court in Any Black Neighborhood, USA. You would be a blind and naive person to think that Obama would’ve been accepted as child growing up in black community. He was not accepted when he first came to South Side Chicago. Michelle, that nerdy black chick he was theoretically supposed to pass up for Beyonce, had to stand up for him. So, much for the myth that all Black women want a man that can fight gangsters…well, until they are one, I suppose…

“My question is why can’t nerdy black men DEVELOP the qualities women like? Women often times change to fit the standards of men, but men rarely do the same. Women are expected to take men, as they are whether they are good-looking, fat, short, or ugly. I’m going to tell black men the same thing I have told black women: If black women are overlooking you I suggest you take a GOOD LONG LOOK in the mirror because nine times out of ten that’s where the problem starts.”

I don’t know. I’m really lost here. I have had a lot of growing up to do since I was a child, and one of the major things I had to deal with was authenticity. I don’t think it is wise for anyone to adjust themselves for anything really, let alone a mate. If all you want is sex, then I say work the room like all the other guys, including the ALPHA MALES(I know you heard it that time!!). If you are looking for a relationship beyond one night, excuse me, beyond two hours, then I suggest you attempt to at least be honest about your interests and abilities. Life can’t be hidden and we are all a part of that life. There are no real skills that one can develop to impress a person that is not impressed by you. None. You can be a great actor or actress, but one day, you will have to drop that shield. If you are someone that enjoys sitting in front of a computer for hours, then the person you decide to be with will have to accept that, and in some ways should appreciate and admire that about you. I don’t think these to be ideal considerations, in fact, I know someone in a great relationship just like that. Smiles.

I would be completely amiss as a hater for hire if I didn’t mention the author’s underlying sentiment. I don’t seriously think every woman thinks like this sister does, but I would imagine quite a few do, or have. As vibratory beings we are all attracted to those with the greatest degree of vibration. Like peacocks we scramble to show our colors(vibrations of light) when mating. I don’t know if @blaqueconscious is attempting address a concern about black women that are overlooked or what, and any sincere and reasonable message to any sane and rationale man that I know was lost in her beginning paragraph. The incendiary commentary that we American Blacks love to refer to as “real talk” is usually real ineffective as a tool for change, and just because black males have not the record for shooting up schools for being treated like social pariahs, I’d be careful with that as media communicator. Not saying that it is the responsibility of the blogger to be socially responsible, but I’d think if I was Black, and had conscious(aware) thought about the plight of black people in this country, I’d try to be a little careful with my writings.

This post is pregnant with various topics that need to be addressed, and I should probably end here and tackle another later. And with that…later…

46 thoughts on “…The Nerdy Nigga Strikes Back…

    1. You know what, I thought about that. And I really want to consider the sister beyond just “educated”. There were so many things I could have tackled, and I am sure i will at a later date. She writes well with her emotions though i suppose…can’t say much for context and depth, however…

    1. You know what, I thought about that. And I really want to consider the sister beyond just “educated”. There were so many things I could have tackled, and I am sure i will at a later date. She writes well with her emotions though i suppose…can’t say much for context and depth, however…

  1. excellent post my brother. it one thing to be not compatible but to say b/c i dont meet a westernized fairy tale of the perfect man that there is some how something wrong with me. we can agree that everyone isnt for everybody but damn lol.

    1. hahaha!! Right! I’d advised most people not to go looking for that “cookie cutter” making all of these perfect mates. Arses will be old and rotten and lonely; that’s like ya boy Ponce looking for the fountain of youth…

  2. excellent post my brother. it one thing to be not compatible but to say b/c i dont meet a westernized fairy tale of the perfect man that there is some how something wrong with me. we can agree that everyone isnt for everybody but damn lol.

    1. hahaha!! Right! I’d advised most people not to go looking for that “cookie cutter” making all of these perfect mates. Arses will be old and rotten and lonely; that’s like ya boy Ponce looking for the fountain of youth…

  3. Great response! You have the ultimate level of patience and hopefully were able to convey some food for thought to the misguided young woman (though I’m skeptical). In graduate school, my thoughts were sometimes challenged as a function of youth and I hated being discredited for my opinions based on age. Now I find myself feeling the need to attribute her thesis to youth, perhaps a poor excuse for perpetuating ignorance. Good job – keep educating.

    1. i see we think alike!! Yeah, I felt the same thing. Don’t know the sister’s age, but I definitely thought that she was young and still in an earlier phase of development.

  4. Great response! You have the ultimate level of patience and hopefully were able to convey some food for thought to the misguided young woman (though I’m skeptical). In graduate school, my thoughts were sometimes challenged as a function of youth and I hated being discredited for my opinions based on age. Now I find myself feeling the need to attribute her thesis to youth, perhaps a poor excuse for perpetuating ignorance. Good job – keep educating.

    1. i see we think alike!! Yeah, I felt the same thing. Don’t know the sister’s age, but I definitely thought that she was young and still in an earlier phase of development.

  5. @blaqueconscious’s analysis (if that’s what one wants to call it) is shallow and superficial, in my opinion. Won’t bother going into the reasons why, as you’ve already done so and it’s way too early in the morning, so let me take my nerdy black ass back to sleep. 😐

  6. @blaqueconscious’s analysis (if that’s what one wants to call it) is shallow and superficial, in my opinion. Won’t bother going into the reasons why, as you’ve already done so and it’s way too early in the morning, so let me take my nerdy black ass back to sleep. 😐

  7. Hello! As a 23-year-old black female who consideres herself a “nerd” (and who has been called this all of her life, and told that she “acts white”, among many other insipid insults) I think there was “some” truth in Von’s blogs about nerdy black males on the internet who complain that “young black women all want thugs”.

    I didn’t agree with her completely (she’s using “nerd” to mean physically unattractive by default, and I find many nerdy men attractive, and her tone is pretty bitchy) but she was right that the men shes talking about generalize ALL black women just because some black girls teased them or turned them down in high school (hence her use of the high school analogy. If you’ve seen the animated music video “Cap’n Save a Hoe”, it’s obvious that these men brought up high school experiences first.)

    I find it very offensive when they say things like this…I don’t like “thugs” or hip-hop/ghetto lemmings who worship that subculture. I don’t even have them in my circle of “friends” so why would I want to date/marry them?

    She also said that there are nerdy black girls who would be willing to give them the time of day, but they would rather complain about the super-sexy stuck-up, ghetto girls who don’t want them, and lump ALL young black women with said ghetto girls, while ignoring the nice nerdy girls.

    In high school NO black guy asked me out. My first boyfriend was white (mutual attraction and we shared alot of the same interests & views) and the black guys thought I was an ugly bougie wannabe white bitch (as they would call me) but I don’t bash black men online or make videos complaining about how they all want “hood chicks” and they turned me down for that reason alone.

    Sure SOME of them did want hood girls, and some of them just didn’t find me physically attractive regardless…I can live with that. However, some of the men that Von was referring to, won’t feel that they possibly have poor luck with women because some women just don’t like thier face or body (for whatever reason) and automatically assume it’s because “she wants a thug”.

    Now earlier, I said that I LOVE nerds and I stand by that, however just because a woman doesn’t like nerds and likes going to clubs/parties, doesn’t mean she wants a thug.

    There IS a middle ground, and most of my more recent boyfriends *have* been the “middle ground” (but not nerdy/quirky like ME unfortunately).

    As far as dating white women goes, unlike her, I really don’t care if people want to interracially date or marry…Afterall, I have before, and I’m “mixed” anyway so I don’t mind it all.

    In conclusion, I think the “black nerds” this girl was talking about were the ones who always chant “black women want thugs” over the internet, when there are nerdy black girls out here too who would love to have them, but they ignore them.

    Black people assoiating intellect & individuality with “being bougie” or “corny” or “acting white” is destructive behavior that BOTH genders engage in, not just the females…Putting all of the blame on the females but never calling out the males who do it too(which is what many of the nerdy black men Von was talking about do) will never solve the problem.

    1. First, I would like to thank you for your comment.

      I agree that there is definitely a middle ground, and I have told “VON” that I believe it would have been better for her to have addressed the subculture of guys who get on the internet and berate sisters and lament about them only wanting to date thugs. I have had this discussion before, and even earlier today on campus I discussed this at length with a brother and a sister. But her post, and possibly my misunderstanding aside, there is a huge deficit of intelligent black people in our country. There is still a cultural paradigm that looks “down” on those who choose to pursue more intellectual pursuits. I am aware of the movement towards more intelligent discussion in the hip hop culture, however, I don’t see imitating Kanye West or the like as the same as pursuing higher education, or delving into less say, the sciences.

      I don’t want my words to be taken out of context, I’m not belittling anyone who chooses to dress in avant garde styles, but I feel that it is faddish. When the term “nerd” was used, it didn’t conjure up images of the skinny jeans below the cusp of the buttocks fashion adherents. I was taken back to my own childhood, I was forced to think about the guys who study all night at school and have forsaken a social life for the development of their minds. I don’t hear them saying that black women only want thugs, but I also don’t know what their interweb activities entail. I’m more concerned that these brothers stick it out, and continue to work hard on their scholarship.

      I am not against a person seeking affection and romance. This means that I am not against interracial dating because, beyond the politics and social ills, we are affectionate creatures that seek partnership. It would be ideal, given those political and social realities, if Black people sought to build families and thus futures within the ethnicity. It would be even more ideal if the ethnicity didn’t hold on to beauty standards that create a condition by which intellectuals feel less desirable. I understand that the white culture has introduced this term “nerd’ and this pattern of behavior, we must not forget that we are not white, and we must not forget that we are the descendants of people that for centuries were forced by law into illiteracy. Black people are the LAST people that should ever look down at its thinkers. That should be the sexiest thing attribute a person could demonstrate.

      This conversation really needs its own space, and I plan on discussing a few more items of thought that you bring up at length. Once again, I appreciate response, and hope you continue this discussion with us here.

  8. Hello! As a 23-year-old black female who consideres herself a “nerd” (and who has been called this all of her life, and told that she “acts white”, among many other insipid insults) I think there was “some” truth in Von’s blogs about nerdy black males on the internet who complain that “young black women all want thugs”.

    I didn’t agree with her completely (she’s using “nerd” to mean physically unattractive by default, and I find many nerdy men attractive, and her tone is pretty bitchy) but she was right that the men shes talking about generalize ALL black women just because some black girls teased them or turned them down in high school (hence her use of the high school analogy. If you’ve seen the animated music video “Cap’n Save a Hoe”, it’s obvious that these men brought up high school experiences first.)

    I find it very offensive when they say things like this…I don’t like “thugs” or hip-hop/ghetto lemmings who worship that subculture. I don’t even have them in my circle of “friends” so why would I want to date/marry them?

    She also said that there are nerdy black girls who would be willing to give them the time of day, but they would rather complain about the super-sexy stuck-up, ghetto girls who don’t want them, and lump ALL young black women with said ghetto girls, while ignoring the nice nerdy girls.

    In high school NO black guy asked me out. My first boyfriend was white (mutual attraction and we shared alot of the same interests & views) and the black guys thought I was an ugly bougie wannabe white bitch (as they would call me) but I don’t bash black men online or make videos complaining about how they all want “hood chicks” and they turned me down for that reason alone.

    Sure SOME of them did want hood girls, and some of them just didn’t find me physically attractive regardless…I can live with that. However, some of the men that Von was referring to, won’t feel that they possibly have poor luck with women because some women just don’t like thier face or body (for whatever reason) and automatically assume it’s because “she wants a thug”.

    Now earlier, I said that I LOVE nerds and I stand by that, however just because a woman doesn’t like nerds and likes going to clubs/parties, doesn’t mean she wants a thug.

    There IS a middle ground, and most of my more recent boyfriends *have* been the “middle ground” (but not nerdy/quirky like ME unfortunately).

    As far as dating white women goes, unlike her, I really don’t care if people want to interracially date or marry…Afterall, I have before, and I’m “mixed” anyway so I don’t mind it all.

    In conclusion, I think the “black nerds” this girl was talking about were the ones who always chant “black women want thugs” over the internet, when there are nerdy black girls out here too who would love to have them, but they ignore them.

    Black people assoiating intellect & individuality with “being bougie” or “corny” or “acting white” is destructive behavior that BOTH genders engage in, not just the females…Putting all of the blame on the females but never calling out the males who do it too(which is what many of the nerdy black men Von was talking about do) will never solve the problem.

    1. First, I would like to thank you for your comment.

      I agree that there is definitely a middle ground, and I have told “VON” that I believe it would have been better for her to have addressed the subculture of guys who get on the internet and berate sisters and lament about them only wanting to date thugs. I have had this discussion before, and even earlier today on campus I discussed this at length with a brother and a sister. But her post, and possibly my misunderstanding aside, there is a huge deficit of intelligent black people in our country. There is still a cultural paradigm that looks “down” on those who choose to pursue more intellectual pursuits. I am aware of the movement towards more intelligent discussion in the hip hop culture, however, I don’t see imitating Kanye West or the like as the same as pursuing higher education, or delving into less say, the sciences.

      I don’t want my words to be taken out of context, I’m not belittling anyone who chooses to dress in avant garde styles, but I feel that it is faddish. When the term “nerd” was used, it didn’t conjure up images of the skinny jeans below the cusp of the buttocks fashion adherents. I was taken back to my own childhood, I was forced to think about the guys who study all night at school and have forsaken a social life for the development of their minds. I don’t hear them saying that black women only want thugs, but I also don’t know what their interweb activities entail. I’m more concerned that these brothers stick it out, and continue to work hard on their scholarship.

      I am not against a person seeking affection and romance. This means that I am not against interracial dating because, beyond the politics and social ills, we are affectionate creatures that seek partnership. It would be ideal, given those political and social realities, if Black people sought to build families and thus futures within the ethnicity. It would be even more ideal if the ethnicity didn’t hold on to beauty standards that create a condition by which intellectuals feel less desirable. I understand that the white culture has introduced this term “nerd’ and this pattern of behavior, we must not forget that we are not white, and we must not forget that we are the descendants of people that for centuries were forced by law into illiteracy. Black people are the LAST people that should ever look down at its thinkers. That should be the sexiest thing attribute a person could demonstrate.

      This conversation really needs its own space, and I plan on discussing a few more items of thought that you bring up at length. Once again, I appreciate response, and hope you continue this discussion with us here.

  9. Thanks for the comment…Yeah, I totally understand how you feel. I’ve been tormented by black peers all of my life and sometimes in the back of my head I use to think there may have been something wrong with me (that I wasn’t pretty, or too “lame” or I wasn’t a “real sista” because I was too pale) but then when I went to a more diverse school in my first two years of high school, and I saw that the white & non-black kids were nice to me, and the non-black boys would ask me out, I began to really question it in my head, and think “Hey maybe I’m not so bad after all.”

    Unfortunately, in my last two years of high school, I had to move BACK to an all-black school and the kids (male & female) were horrible to me, and nobody asked me out to the prom (one guy I use to sit with @ lunch said “He wanted to F_ck me” but he never asked me out like a gentleman)

    So trust me, I definitely believe you when you say

    “there is a huge deficit of intelligent black people in our country.”

    However, I think Von’s blogs were saying that one can be intellegent without being socially awkward, and if a girl turns you down for being socially awkward it doesn’t mean she “wants a thug”.

    I’m STILL socially awkward and that’s something I can’t really help because my interests aren’t all that mainstream, and I have white friends and *some* black friends but it’s hard to find other black people who share my passion for things or opinions on politics or religion. I don’t mean to say this to sound elitist, it’s just my experience.

    I don’t do twitter or facebook, but I like to hang out @ the IMDb.com…I may email my profile page to you but I’d rather not post it here out in public.

    “It would be even more ideal if the ethnicity didn’t hold on to beauty standards that create a condition by which intellectuals feel less desirable. I understand that the white culture has introduced this term “nerd’ and this pattern of behavior, we must not forget that we are not white, and we must not forget that we are the descendants of people that for centuries were forced by law into illiteracy.”

    Absolutely! Other groups of brown/non-white people like the Asians, value intellectual strength but black Americans don’t seem too.

    When I found out the “IQ gap” between blacks, whites, and other groups I was disturbed & upset…MY IQ range is 120-126 and I never considered myself to be the smartest person (I’m terrible @ math & chemistry) however that’s so much higher than average (or maybe the IQ gap closed off some more but I didn’t google the recent ones yet)

    However, since my family raised me to value intellect & be proud of my skills & talents (like drawing, writing and cooking) I believe the IQ gap is cultural & not genetic.

    I’m not sure if you’re familiar with “Sargewp” (“SargeantWilliePete”) but men like him who constantly bash & generalize all black women, while making all black men out to be victims, are responsible for the “all young black women want thugs” bandwagon as well as the guy who made the animated music video “Cap’n Save a Hoe”

    I actually agree with some of sargewp’s rants (such as the Willie Lynch letter being bullshit, Black nationalism being bullshit, and Christian fundementalism in the black community being a big problem) but his response to Von annoyed me (scroll down to his video response:

    http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.com/2010/04/revenge-of-nerdsremixpart-2.html

    Nobody is saying that “nerds” or non-conformist intellectuals deserve to be with some hideous woman (because trust me, I’M not hideous) but when we say “Why don’t you pursue the nerdy girls” somehow, someway it gets translated to me that.

    1. I better check out the video before I respond on that!! Sounds highly controversial!!

      I’ve been trying to get validated at IMDb.com, but they don’t seem to like me..*smiles* I would like to join in on the conversation since you..*ahem*…posted my response to Von/@BlaqueConscious and I haven’t been able to defend my self there, and the response given on Clutch needs a little more space. But I am extremely excited to be apart of this ongoing discussion. I’ve met some interesting people to say the least.

  10. Thanks for the comment…Yeah, I totally understand how you feel. I’ve been tormented by black peers all of my life and sometimes in the back of my head I use to think there may have been something wrong with me (that I wasn’t pretty, or too “lame” or I wasn’t a “real sista” because I was too pale) but then when I went to a more diverse school in my first two years of high school, and I saw that the white & non-black kids were nice to me, and the non-black boys would ask me out, I began to really question it in my head, and think “Hey maybe I’m not so bad after all.”

    Unfortunately, in my last two years of high school, I had to move BACK to an all-black school and the kids (male & female) were horrible to me, and nobody asked me out to the prom (one guy I use to sit with @ lunch said “He wanted to F_ck me” but he never asked me out like a gentleman)

    So trust me, I definitely believe you when you say

    “there is a huge deficit of intelligent black people in our country.”

    However, I think Von’s blogs were saying that one can be intellegent without being socially awkward, and if a girl turns you down for being socially awkward it doesn’t mean she “wants a thug”.

    I’m STILL socially awkward and that’s something I can’t really help because my interests aren’t all that mainstream, and I have white friends and *some* black friends but it’s hard to find other black people who share my passion for things or opinions on politics or religion. I don’t mean to say this to sound elitist, it’s just my experience.

    I don’t do twitter or facebook, but I like to hang out @ the IMDb.com…I may email my profile page to you but I’d rather not post it here out in public.

    “It would be even more ideal if the ethnicity didn’t hold on to beauty standards that create a condition by which intellectuals feel less desirable. I understand that the white culture has introduced this term “nerd’ and this pattern of behavior, we must not forget that we are not white, and we must not forget that we are the descendants of people that for centuries were forced by law into illiteracy.”

    Absolutely! Other groups of brown/non-white people like the Asians, value intellectual strength but black Americans don’t seem too.

    When I found out the “IQ gap” between blacks, whites, and other groups I was disturbed & upset…MY IQ range is 120-126 and I never considered myself to be the smartest person (I’m terrible @ math & chemistry) however that’s so much higher than average (or maybe the IQ gap closed off some more but I didn’t google the recent ones yet)

    However, since my family raised me to value intellect & be proud of my skills & talents (like drawing, writing and cooking) I believe the IQ gap is cultural & not genetic.

    I’m not sure if you’re familiar with “Sargewp” (“SargeantWilliePete”) but men like him who constantly bash & generalize all black women, while making all black men out to be victims, are responsible for the “all young black women want thugs” bandwagon as well as the guy who made the animated music video “Cap’n Save a Hoe”

    I actually agree with some of sargewp’s rants (such as the Willie Lynch letter being bullshit, Black nationalism being bullshit, and Christian fundementalism in the black community being a big problem) but his response to Von annoyed me (scroll down to his video response:

    http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.com/2010/04/revenge-of-nerdsremixpart-2.html

    Nobody is saying that “nerds” or non-conformist intellectuals deserve to be with some hideous woman (because trust me, I’M not hideous) but when we say “Why don’t you pursue the nerdy girls” somehow, someway it gets translated to me that.

    1. I better check out the video before I respond on that!! Sounds highly controversial!!

      I’ve been trying to get validated at IMDb.com, but they don’t seem to like me..*smiles* I would like to join in on the conversation since you..*ahem*…posted my response to Von/@BlaqueConscious and I haven’t been able to defend my self there, and the response given on Clutch needs a little more space. But I am extremely excited to be apart of this ongoing discussion. I’ve met some interesting people to say the least.

  11. I’ve been an IMDb.com user for almost 4 years…At first it was kind of hard for me to register but I got it done after 3 months of beginning the registration process (well at that point in my life I had a shoddy outdated computer so it was probably hard because of that but I got a much better one soon enough)

    So you found out who I am on IMDb? Lol

    1. Yeah, like I told MissHelsing when you clicked on that link she posted, my website registers where the link came from, and I like knowing where my visitors are coming from, so I clicked it. I’ve been reading the thread for about three days now. Didn’t take long to figure out who the key players were.

  12. I’ve been an IMDb.com user for almost 4 years…At first it was kind of hard for me to register but I got it done after 3 months of beginning the registration process (well at that point in my life I had a shoddy outdated computer so it was probably hard because of that but I got a much better one soon enough)

    So you found out who I am on IMDb? Lol

    1. Yeah, like I told MissHelsing when you clicked on that link she posted, my website registers where the link came from, and I like knowing where my visitors are coming from, so I clicked it. I’ve been reading the thread for about three days now. Didn’t take long to figure out who the key players were.

  13. Okay…Well, as I said in my thread I love to chat on IMDb about my favorite movies & pop-culture in general (which I have listed in my profile) and even though I pretty much stay on the “animation” board, because animation is a passion of mine, I love live-action entertainment too…It’s just that most of the users on the live-action boards are kinda assy or the boards are dead or repititive.

    I’m trying to contact you in private on this website, but I’m having trouble doing that…

  14. Okay…Well, as I said in my thread I love to chat on IMDb about my favorite movies & pop-culture in general (which I have listed in my profile) and even though I pretty much stay on the “animation” board, because animation is a passion of mine, I love live-action entertainment too…It’s just that most of the users on the live-action boards are kinda assy or the boards are dead or repititive.

    I’m trying to contact you in private on this website, but I’m having trouble doing that…

  15. Very good post!You surprise me—this is not at all like a recent discussion we had on twitter about lonely, successful Black women!
    I found your piece well-written, and the arguments are persuasively put.
    The young lady who started the discussion is almost certainly young and immature (probably good-looking ).
    Such women grow up to be bitter and frustrated.
    If she is denigrating Black men now, she will be doing so twenty years from now.

    1. Thank you!! Well, you know twitter can only handle so much thought, I think the servers start crashing when you demonstrate too much logic!!

  16. Very good post!You surprise me—this is not at all like a recent discussion we had on twitter about lonely, successful Black women!
    I found your piece well-written, and the arguments are persuasively put.
    The young lady who started the discussion is almost certainly young and immature (probably good-looking ).
    Such women grow up to be bitter and frustrated.
    If she is denigrating Black men now, she will be doing so twenty years from now.

    1. Thank you!! Well, you know twitter can only handle so much thought, I think the servers start crashing when you demonstrate too much logic!!

  17. You…are…awesome! This blog is so excellent. I truly hope a lot more people read this and get what youre saying, simply because let me tell you, its essential stuff. I never wouldve thought about it this way unless Id run into your weblog. Thanks for putting it up. I hope you have excellent success.

  18. You…are…awesome! This blog is so excellent. I truly hope a lot more people read this and get what youre saying, simply because let me tell you, its essential stuff. I never wouldve thought about it this way unless Id run into your weblog. Thanks for putting it up. I hope you have excellent success.

  19. First thing i gotta say is that owl appers ta b one the best muddfuckin blak writers of r generation i have ever read -as for the subject matter….it seems to b kinda.. not actually all that important ta warrant such attention from someone with tha pleothra of writing skills … there are not even enough nerdy niggaz around for blak women .. to complain about. really… i mean if she dont like nerdy niggaz then fuckin ignore im *shrugs* . it just seems like a really weird subject with all the other more important shyt going on….looks like one of them just dreged up one more thing ta bitch complain and harp on niggaz about not even warranting a response from me personally. anywayz let me intoduce myself im tha Naalij tha Blakseminole Khmetikan – khmetikan.com
    and my third eye led me ta randomly hit this website off twitter. Any way wat im really postin ta say iz it truly warms my heart to run into the first intelligent dialogue between niggaz since bitch azz facebook completely destroyed the myspace blak intellectual chat rooms i was in in a matter of hours. It was by far the larest group of genuis niggaz i have ever ran into authors scuentist psychologist doctors.. and more wped out when they all jumped shipped in hours ta facebook such a group will never b assembled again we would debate and it would turn into three months and 28 pages… yea anywayz i was born for kombat itz part of my dna spritual menatal and phyisical kombat … writing and debate is one of my forms of kombat i get just as high from krushing a smart nigga in a debate as i do from krushing a snitches face with my foot but yao owl peep dis http://khmetikan.com/forum/topic/7/amerikkan-citizens-unsuspecting-supporters-of-the-colonial-empire/ a peice a wrote in college… i write, rap, do spoken word and ” THERE IS NOTHING OF THE EMPIRE (amerikkka) THAT CAN STAND BEFORE MY PEN AND IN TRUTH COME OUT THE VICTOR” so i invite u ta join me and post ur articles and debates on my forum on my site every house nigga ive ever ran into has been scared to publish me in a magazine maybe we could network and collab on somethin let me know wat u think bout my peice and i post as seheru on there so ive got the rest up too

    1. Hahah! Yeah, this post was written during a time when the major attack on Black men with intelligence was that we were all chasing white women. At THAT time, I felt the need for rebuttal. I appreciate the compliment and will definite work to keep up my writing. I will also check out your spot and work. I am thoroughly grateful for your reaching out to me and leaving a comment on Asylum!

  20. First thing i gotta say is that owl appers ta b one the best muddfuckin blak writers of r generation i have ever read -as for the subject matter….it seems to b kinda.. not actually all that important ta warrant such attention from someone with tha pleothra of writing skills … there are not even enough nerdy niggaz around for blak women .. to complain about. really… i mean if she dont like nerdy niggaz then fuckin ignore im *shrugs* . it just seems like a really weird subject with all the other more important shyt going on….looks like one of them just dreged up one more thing ta bitch complain and harp on niggaz about not even warranting a response from me personally. anywayz let me intoduce myself im tha Naalij tha Blakseminole Khmetikan – khmetikan.com
    and my third eye led me ta randomly hit this website off twitter. Any way wat im really postin ta say iz it truly warms my heart to run into the first intelligent dialogue between niggaz since bitch azz facebook completely destroyed the myspace blak intellectual chat rooms i was in in a matter of hours. It was by far the larest group of genuis niggaz i have ever ran into authors scuentist psychologist doctors.. and more wped out when they all jumped shipped in hours ta facebook such a group will never b assembled again we would debate and it would turn into three months and 28 pages… yea anywayz i was born for kombat itz part of my dna spritual menatal and phyisical kombat … writing and debate is one of my forms of kombat i get just as high from krushing a smart nigga in a debate as i do from krushing a snitches face with my foot but yao owl peep dis http://khmetikan.com/forum/topic/7/amerikkan-citizens-unsuspecting-supporters-of-the-colonial-empire/ a peice a wrote in college… i write, rap, do spoken word and ” THERE IS NOTHING OF THE EMPIRE (amerikkka) THAT CAN STAND BEFORE MY PEN AND IN TRUTH COME OUT THE VICTOR” so i invite u ta join me and post ur articles and debates on my forum on my site every house nigga ive ever ran into has been scared to publish me in a magazine maybe we could network and collab on somethin let me know wat u think bout my peice and i post as seheru on there so ive got the rest up too

    1. Hahah! Yeah, this post was written during a time when the major attack on Black men with intelligence was that we were all chasing white women. At THAT time, I felt the need for rebuttal. I appreciate the compliment and will definite work to keep up my writing. I will also check out your spot and work. I am thoroughly grateful for your reaching out to me and leaving a comment on Asylum!

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