The Waiting Game and Other Pussy/Ass Games…

As of late, I’ve been receiving a few queries about relationships and what I refer to as the “waiting game.” Now, the waiting game is the intentional withholding of sex during a courting situation. Granted, there are women that are actually celibate. But there is a difference between being available for sex, wanting sex, but not having sex with a particular person that is definitely a potential sex partner, but not doing it. Most people reading this know my stance on celibacy. In Asylum, celibacy is more like a religious ritual. I understand the denotation of the word, yet for the intents and purposes here, I don’t consider you celibate if you are open to casual sex, but aren’t getting any. One can’t consider them Self a vegan just because they haven’t had the opportunity to eat animal products. Not exactly a form of restraint there, right?

 

Now, the question that was raised was how long should a woman wait before having sex with a potential lover. Of course, my analytical mind jumped in front of the rest of mental faculties. Questions like, “is this purely casual sex?”, “how long have we known this person?”, “where did you meet?” and the like raced out of my mouth. After a few of the details were elicited, I stopped. I thought a bit.

 

Health issues are a big consideration here, correct. All tools being ready to pass a thorough inspection, I don’t really know of a clear cut, across the board answer. From the men that I’ve met in my life, emphasis on ‘my,’ there is no data that suggest there is a proper waiting period. For the most part, this ritual seems to stem from the patriarchal position that all women are crafted out of some anti-pleasure dust. As if the average man that is actually able to attract women doesn’t realize that women like to have sex. Any waiting game is simply that, a game. Not ‘game’ as in spades, but ‘game’ as in game theory. It is a stratagem.

 

And it gets really immature when we start a deeper analysis. The immaturity, sure, isn’t on the women, however. It really is on the manner in which the society crafts gender roles and this box we attempt to put the sexual feminine in.

 

Simply put…there is not an actual time limit were a man’s relationship/good woman meter goes off. In fact, you could be the neighborhood ratchet and make a guy wait ten months, and after he has sex with you, well, you’re still the neighborhood ratchet. For some strange reason, many women don’t consider the reality that a man can see you beyond the bedroom. Jay-Z could have fucked Bey in the first hour;not going to change the fact that it is Beyonce. A man about the chase and the pursuit is only going to continue his hunt after his satiation wears off. And some men are snakes, one huge meal per month will do them justice. Some men are western imperialist, the world isn’t going to ever be enough.

 

So, I told her,”know what you want.” That simple. Of course, ever since Guru died, so has the value of the term, ‘guru.’ This causes every one to expect this robust litany of thoughtless information to erupt out everyone’s mouth. And I don’t want to bash Steve Harvey to crack crumbs; he didn’t label him Self ‘guru,’ he only wrote a book. But, it has impacted people to the point of actually believing the bullshit typed in said book. So, when she started discussing men not having respect for women who are easy, I stopped her.

 

Ladies, “easy” isn’t even ‘easy’; just ‘easier,’ and even that gets messy. And as stated, the most sex craved men know how to respect the respectable, typically. Men deal with women that are “dick teasers.” Can I write that without feeling crass or embarrassing you? (We are still in Asylum) Men deal with “gold diggers.” Can I remind the world of that bit of reality? Men are not all sex junkies. Some men actually prefer to wait and get labeled pejoratively. At the end of the day, I can only advise people to get what they want. Assert your Self. If you have to ask how long, you’ve probably got way more important priorities to think about than sex anyway, but still, until the grown ups grow up, right?

 

Know what you want. If the strategy of waiting seems to get you what you want, you’re a tease…no, kidding, somewhat. But remember, with all strategies and tactics comes actuality. And in actuality, not all men respond well to obvious strategy. We’ve all probably seen, met, or know the type of woman that has two guys in rotation while dating other men for perks. No guy wants to be that guy. After awhile, it becomes stale. With every game theory, there is a counter strategy, so be careful with the waiting thing.

4 thoughts on “The Waiting Game and Other Pussy/Ass Games…

  1. thank you Beloved Owl been enjoying some of the new posts tonight (read 3)

    i don’t often express my views on intimate relationships in the social media & likes of. yet – your topic is tempting. ha.

    here are a few reflections your text has prompted…

    it takes coming aware that one is programmed (the system/society, your parents’ and their parents’ neurosis/trauma etc), then consciously, relentlessly deprogramming oneself (cause the more programs U get rid of, the more come to surface), to finally become assertive of one’s sexuality.

    there are no rules. or say, none other than those you will have created for yourself once you have sufficient KOS, which cannot be attained before the deprogramming is well advanced/completed, nor without experience.

    any idea of ‘strategy’ one will throw into the mix whilst deciding when/whether to get intimate with another will alter the very nature of the decision made. strategy is a program.

    our natural Self knows. that’s why you got to get to know yourself, whatever the cost, and that’s why the cost, sometimes, is a mistake made.

    i’ve had long term, extremely deep and important (lifelong, even) relationships which could be labeled one night stands by western standards because from the outside, and through the filter of the program, it looks nothing like what it really is/was.

    and i was once, and for some years, the obedient and faithful spouse of an abusive man, which was one of the most self-destructive and self-loathing f*cks i ever got myself into, while a certain society around the marriage were close to worshipping us, as ex-husband is of a very respected lineage in said society.

    everybody is labeling everybody and we walk around with the trauma of all the labels put on us, added to that of the labels we burden others with. it’s all part of the program.
    the reason why it’s so complicated, is that we have let sex become separated from love. we have invented categories – casual sex, hoes, wedlock… we are disconnected from the natural self, because we’ve been programmed to believe nature is disorderly and immoral. and all that much pressure on nature ends up creating indeed frightening disorders.

    let’s face it…we had fallen from Grace!
    deprogram
    look the other way – erase porn memories, horrid headlines, unplug from the dirt that you have not created nor are responsible for. there are forces out there, good and bad exist. to clean it all up and get in touch with the true, natural, loving YOU, you must dissociate yourself from each and every sex program, from the darkest evil to the sweetest fantasy. and find you.
    i have Daughters
    one of them would already be married if i lived in a society where teenage girls are considered potential marriage meat. so i am not writing lightly. i cannot easily talk with her about sexuality, and i cannot easily NOT talk with her about it. what’s to say?

    Dawta, love yourself, know yourself, respect yourself, take your time. speak your truth. act accordingly.

    1. Thank you, sis!!

      You bring up some very interesting points, one that I struck out the most for me was the idea that we force our Selves into relationships that are harmful for the sake of public approval, yet, we frown on acts that possibly might benefit our Selves, for our Selves. Sort of like wearing a pair of shoes that don’t fit for the sake of fashion. No one has any clear phukkking answers, you know? Most of what we consider ‘morals’ are really just controls necessary for the smooth operation of a society. When people begin to conservatively imbibe these practices, and make them absolutes, we lose sight of other possibilities. And also start judging one another unnecessarily.

  2. thank you Beloved Owl been enjoying some of the new posts tonight (read 3)

    i don’t often express my views on intimate relationships in the social media & likes of. yet – your topic is tempting. ha.

    here are a few reflections your text has prompted…

    it takes coming aware that one is programmed (the system/society, your parents’ and their parents’ neurosis/trauma etc), then consciously, relentlessly deprogramming oneself (cause the more programs U get rid of, the more come to surface), to finally become assertive of one’s sexuality.

    there are no rules. or say, none other than those you will have created for yourself once you have sufficient KOS, which cannot be attained before the deprogramming is well advanced/completed, nor without experience.

    any idea of ‘strategy’ one will throw into the mix whilst deciding when/whether to get intimate with another will alter the very nature of the decision made. strategy is a program.

    our natural Self knows. that’s why you got to get to know yourself, whatever the cost, and that’s why the cost, sometimes, is a mistake made.

    i’ve had long term, extremely deep and important (lifelong, even) relationships which could be labeled one night stands by western standards because from the outside, and through the filter of the program, it looks nothing like what it really is/was.

    and i was once, and for some years, the obedient and faithful spouse of an abusive man, which was one of the most self-destructive and self-loathing f*cks i ever got myself into, while a certain society around the marriage were close to worshipping us, as ex-husband is of a very respected lineage in said society.

    everybody is labeling everybody and we walk around with the trauma of all the labels put on us, added to that of the labels we burden others with. it’s all part of the program.
    the reason why it’s so complicated, is that we have let sex become separated from love. we have invented categories – casual sex, hoes, wedlock… we are disconnected from the natural self, because we’ve been programmed to believe nature is disorderly and immoral. and all that much pressure on nature ends up creating indeed frightening disorders.

    let’s face it…we had fallen from Grace!
    deprogram
    look the other way – erase porn memories, horrid headlines, unplug from the dirt that you have not created nor are responsible for. there are forces out there, good and bad exist. to clean it all up and get in touch with the true, natural, loving YOU, you must dissociate yourself from each and every sex program, from the darkest evil to the sweetest fantasy. and find you.
    i have Daughters
    one of them would already be married if i lived in a society where teenage girls are considered potential marriage meat. so i am not writing lightly. i cannot easily talk with her about sexuality, and i cannot easily NOT talk with her about it. what’s to say?

    Dawta, love yourself, know yourself, respect yourself, take your time. speak your truth. act accordingly.

    1. Thank you, sis!!

      You bring up some very interesting points, one that I struck out the most for me was the idea that we force our Selves into relationships that are harmful for the sake of public approval, yet, we frown on acts that possibly might benefit our Selves, for our Selves. Sort of like wearing a pair of shoes that don’t fit for the sake of fashion. No one has any clear phukkking answers, you know? Most of what we consider ‘morals’ are really just controls necessary for the smooth operation of a society. When people begin to conservatively imbibe these practices, and make them absolutes, we lose sight of other possibilities. And also start judging one another unnecessarily.

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