I suppose at a certain time in one’s life it becomes a daily ritual to question whether your life has been a growing success, or a lesson in failure. I am often left thinking of my self along the lines of a wonderful failing, or at least “wasted talent”. In those moments of personal self-antagonizing, I am now forced to consider what Aiyana Stanley-Jones might have been able to do with her life had it not been cut short by the bullet of Officer Joseph Weekly.
So far, I have been able to live 5 of her lifetimes. I was in prison just a few months less than she was able to breathe here on earth. And yet, a jury was unable to come to a decision whether her murder was worthy of being labeled a manslaughter, which would then call to bear some sort of accountability on the part of Officer Joseph Weekly. A jury was unable to convene in a timely fashion, which culminated in a mistrial being called by the presiding judge. A mistrial, not because of some error on the part of the prosecution, but because the jury could not render an agreement in a timely fashion.
My disdain and distrust in the US Justice system further grows. My need to find empowering thoughts to motivate me to persist through a disenfranchised existence is tempered by the fact that a hired hand killed a 7 year old child and the best the state could do was hire 12 more incompetent citizens to further mar an incident mired in corruption and failure. Regardless of the regrets I might hold in respect to many of the lapses of judgment I have made, I am able to form a thought referred to as a “regret”. I have a chance, I still get a play towards accomplishing whatever dreams I still find my Self conjuring up in this wasteland of thoughts I call my mind.
Without a shadow of a doubt, I am still capable of rewriting my condition. Even if I never get it right, I have not been robbed of that completely. Aiyana was. It would be at least a humane disposition to challenge the system of laws that helped to kill her. her chance, her shot, her opportunity at this fallacy we call the “American Dream” with all of its elusive makings has been extinguished, and the best we can do for an answer is warped litigation. I am almost certain that with precedents such as Oscar Grant, and now this travesty of justice, that if George Zimmerman had been an actual police officer, he would not even be facing the murder charge and could possibly have already been acquitted. There is a danger in this de facto state executions –murder and class persecution by cop– and the silence that surrounds them. We are watching children being killed by the hired help, the police paid to protect.
Whether I spend the next seven years on a course of uplift, capitalistic greed, or scholarly bliss–I as of now have that as an option to hope for. It seems a bit unfair and cavalier that those of us with this option cannot see fit to do justice for those that have been robbed of this gift.